Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Still Waiting

So yesterday we had our detailed anatomy scan and everything looks good.  Baby is totally healthy, has no seen abnormalities, and is definitely a boy.  Here are some pictures, sorry they are so crappy.

So, I had told myself previous to this ultrasound that I was waiting for this ultrasound to feel better, like more safe, that things are going to go smoothly and that in 20 weeks we will be meeting this beautiful little guy.  I haven't purchased anything for this little one yet (not that he's not plenty spoiled already, cause he is).  I have this irrational thought in my head that if I buy something, then I will jinx it, and something will go wrong, and we won't have him.  But guess what, we had the ultrasound, and I don't feel a lot better.  I went out with Tiffany afterwards and was thinking about buying something to make a blanket with.  But I didn't buy anything, partly because they didn't have what I wanted, and partially because of that fear I just mentioned.  So now I'm wondering if I'll feel better at 24 weeks.  At  24 weeks baby is viable, so that if preterm labor happens, at least he should do ok-well sort of.  But I know me by this point, at 24 weeks I'll still be freaking out.  Will I develop pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, low fluids, etc.  Wow the freaking out at this point can seriously get out of control.  Is this just the beginning of a lifetime of mom concerns, where I will constantly be worried about every little thing that can happen.  Who knows, but I guess we will see.  

On non baby news, I'm happy that the end to night shift might soon be taking place.  Not as soon as I want, but I accepted a position for evenings instead of nights, which will be better.  Hopefully it will work out better for our childcare needs too.