Thursday, May 05, 2011

May is National Mental Health Month!

It also happens to be my birthday month.  I don't think these two things are unrelated, go figure!  And while I'm posting this blog from my spot in Tiffany's Starbucks I am listening to the song "Madness" by Alanis Morissette (don't worry dear readers, I will post the lyrics below, even though I'm sure I've posted this song before).  I'm working on a mental health assignment for school and it has me thinking; a dangerous past time I know.  There is a lot of stigma still around the diagnosis of mental health issues.  Two of the most common ones, anxiety and depression, are ones that most people suffer from (at the very least on a temporary basis).  So, in honor of NMHM (yup just made that up) I am going to just own and claim it on here.  I suffer from major depressive disorder.  Not blues, not seasonal depression, not minor life transitional depression but full on MDD.  Now claiming this on my blog might not be revolutionary for some of you, you likely already know that I have this problem.  Did you also know that I suffer from sleep disorders, namely insomnia and night terrors?  Most of you may have guessed this from my super late night/early morning posts when the insomnia is really bad, but it is a full on diagnosis at this point.  My hope though in sharing this is that maybe some people can get help with their own issues.  I know amongst my group of friends: an alcoholic, an anxiety ridden mom, someone with OCD, and someone who I am pretty sure is undiagnosed bi-polar (hell that almost could be me).  Maybe if there was not a stigma associated with mental illness more people would seek treatment. I don't mean magic pill treatment, but even just counseling and recognition of their problem.  I know, it's a lofty goal, but hey~always something to work towards right?

On another note, my diagnosis of chondromalacia (otherwise known as runner's knee) has kept me out of soccer for a few weeks.  I am going to try playing again sometime soon, maybe even this week.  People do not understand how much I NEED that soccer game every week.  It's almost like my lifeline....well that along with the blazing onion trip afterwards which I find very catharctic most of the time.  Ok, time to go back to studying (luckily being a decent writer means I didn't waste a whole lot of time posting this blog).

"Madness"~Alanis Morissette
I've been most unwilling
To see this turmoil of mine
The thought of sitting with this
Has me paralyzed

With this prolonged exposure
To near and averted eyes
I think that I've been waiting
Such mileage for empathizing

Now I see the madness in me
Is brought out in the presence of you
Now I know the madness lives on
When you're not in the room
Though I'd love to blame you for all
I'd miss these moments of opportune
You simply brought this madness to light
And I should thank you

Oh, thank you
Much thanks for this bird's eye view
Oh, thank you
For your most generous triggers

It's been all too easy
To cross my arms and roll my eyes
The thought of dropping all arms
Leaves me terrified
And now I see the madness in me
Is brought out in the presence of you
Now I know the madness lives on
When you're not in the room
Though I'd love to blame you for all
I'd miss these moments of opportune
You simply brought this madness to light
And I should thank you

Oh, thank you
Much thanks for this bird's eye view
Oh, thank you
For your most generous triggers

I'd have to give up knowing
And give up being right
You, inadvertent hero
You, angel in disguise

And now I see the madness in me
Is brought out in the presence of you
And now I know the madness lives on
When you're not in the room
And though I'd love to blame you for all
I'd miss these moments of opportune
You simply brought this madness to light
And I should thank you

Oh, thank you
Much thanks for this bird's eye view
Oh, thank you
For your most generous triggers

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