Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Great Divide

Sometimes it feels like my personality is straddling a river.  On the one side of the river I am a somewhat logical rational person who really likes to KNOW and understand things.  On the other side of the river I am this person who is emotional and relies on my intuition to guide me through a lot of things.  The river is this constant flow of people, places, things, situations that flows by me and half the time it ebbs and flows into the emotional side and sometimes it goes into the rational side.  Now which side of the river these things go to, it determines a lot for me.  But the problem with being me and straddling this river is that the emotional side wants to ignore the rational side, and the rational side that can intellectualize its way out of a tricky situation tends to over-emotionalize everything.  Yes I know over-emotionalize is not a word, but you get the idea.
So I have people in my life who are what I like to call "trouble" for me.  People who kick start that emotional size and make it completely take over the rational part of me.  I try to reign that in for the most part as it doesn't make for a comfortable living situation for me.  Sometimes though I just cannot make those two sides come together and agree for the life of me.
Ok short post, worried my grammar will continue to get worse (along with my spelling) as I get more tired.  Night world!

Only a song today...

Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

Oh, this could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Month, yet again.

Been a little over a month since my last post.  Usually this would mean that I just didn't think there was much to be said OR there was just too much going on so I wasn't able to post.  That wasn't the case this time around.  There was a lot going on, I had plenty I wanted to say but just...didn't.  You see, after awhile, I find I've extended myself so far into others, out of myself, that suddenly I find myself in a nightmare of a time that feels like I will never get out of.  I eventually do of course, I'm too resilient to not do so~that's just not Jaime.  So, those of you that know the truth, you stick by me, and I love you through all of it.  I know you feel the same way about me, even when I'm crazy wild silly goofy and my usual scatter brained self.
Four more weeks of classes left, then one week off until summer semester.  I can't wait for summer!  We are doing our preceptor-ship and I couldn't be more excited.  Classes are only on Mondays and there are only two of them.  Then the rest of the time we spend working one on one with a nurse and learning from them.  I picked my specialties as my top areas of interest: Labor & Delivery, NICU, and finally ER.  I know, this may come as a shock for some of you who have known me to be strictly NICU focused for more than a year and a half.  But I had the best time in labor and delivery (in case you didn't read my earlier posts).  I found that yes, I still LOVE babies, but I also like being with the mommies and families who are having the babies.  I have been talking a lot with my instructor about this whole journey and am even more excited to start.
Also, my birthday is next month, going to be 33 years old already.  My how time flies.  Ok short post, but stuff to do.

Today's Song:
Pills~Sarah McLachlan & Perishers
"I hope my smile can distract you
I hope my fists can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love can blind you
I hope my arms can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be

One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not okay

One may think we're alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We're not okay

One may think we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground with every passing day
We’re not okay

But that’s one thing I would never
One thing I would never
One thing I would never say to you
That’s one thing I would never 
One thing I would never
That's one thing I would never say to you"