Monday, March 21, 2011

It's the Circle of Life!!

So, it's not the Lion King, and that's not me singing up above (although it easily could be with a few beers and a karaoke machine), but I had THE BEST DAY IN LABOR AND DELIVERY today that I could possibly have.  Now you may think that I am a super stupid retard, but let me explain before you pass judgment.  Today was my last day in L&D at Madigan (tomorrow my carpool/class BFF Jodi and I are in L&D at St. Joseph's Hospital in Tacoma).  Now, I ended up in triage, which of course does not sound like it would be that exciting.  Mostly it's pregnant moms in various stages of their pregnancy who have a complication or something else that makes them need to be monitored (i.e. the flu, pre-eclampsia, pre-term labor, etc).  So I spent a lot of time hooking up pregnant moms to the fetal heart rate monitor, which for a normal person is probably really boring and not that exciting, but for ME-hooking up those moms and hearing that baby heart beat-it was the best sound in the world today!  To top this off, my C-section mom that I took care of last week was in today to have her staples removed (which was awesome because I got to see Dad, big sister, Mom, and baby again).  I talked with her briefly before heading out to get more linens for the triage area.  On my way out and back in, I ran into my Mom from last week whom I blogged about, the one who reminded me of ME and had the larger baby with the 4th degree laceration.  She HUGGED me, and I immediately asked if it was ok for me to pick baby up and hold him and she said, "Of course it is".  I picked him up and rocked him in my arms, holding him and loving him like I do, while I talked to mom and escorted her back to triage.  Turns out she was there to have her laceration and repair examined by the doctor, which I got to be there for and observe and was fairly interesting in itself.  I had a very long conversation with Mom and it was so nice to hear that she said, "You were the best thing of my labor experience, you were so calm and answered all my questions and were so nice"...seriously the best feeling ever!  And then to have her tell my teacher that "for what it's worth you should totally pass her" is really cool (although somewhat awkward since my teacher of course will pass me if I do well in class).  Ha ha.  But really, being able to see two patients in a row whom I started with during their deliveries and then being able to see them again after the fact...so awesome.  I know most people won't understand that, but those of you that know me best...you will totally get it!!
Song for the day, well no song for today I think, just the best day of clinical experience so far...even after two days with my favorite Mom!
I am SO BLESSED!
THANK YOU GOD!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

MAMA, I'm coming Home!

My TWINNIE is coming home, Friday, as in this Friday!  Ok, now I know, I shouldn't be so excited that Japan had a tsunami and there is tons of devastation and not cool stuff going on over there.  But I'm very glad that Sarah & Evan are coming home; and hopefully soon also Scott.  I am beyond happiness to have the rest of my "family" home with me and close to where I can get to them.  Sorry Sarah, but it's totally true, that's all the mooshy you get out of me for now.

On another note, labor and delivery was pretty stale today.  Really busy with plenty of moms getting admitted for delivery, but no babies born while I was there.  Very sad stuff.  I did at least get to help with plenty of stuff though and the nurse I was working with quizzed on me on fetal heart rates for about 45 minutes prior to even SEEING my patient that I worked with.

Ok no song, kinda late and I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow.  Go team!!

What Did Caesar have to do with it?

So yesterday was my first day in labor and delivery, and although it was fairly slow as far as L&D can go, I did get to witness a C-section straight off the bat.  I do have to say, EWWW, fairly gross cause of course it's an operating room procedure and those are not my favorites, but of course I got to see that baby be born and then was with her for the first 20 minutes of her life.  I also got to play photographer for the family and take pictures in the OR of baby with Daddy and baby with Mom & Dad.  That part was awesome~especially since Dad had this really nice camera!  What was not awesome was learning that sometimes staying silent...is not the best thing in the world.  Our patient, right before transferring her to post partum (or as I've called it on here before, mother-baby unit), the nurse expressed what seemed to me to be a really large clot [It gets graphic a bit here folks so read on only if you are not faint of heart].  Now it is of course normal for a woman to bleed after delivering a baby, even with a C-section, the uterus is going through the process of involution, which is returning it to its normal pre-pregnancy state, however they shouldn't be having big clots.  Now my nurse questioned the other nurse about whether or not we should transfer her and the other nurse said she'd just let them know on the other side.  I later found out that she of course did not let them know once they transferred.  Right after I finished a lengthy conversation with my instructor about what I had seen with this patient and questioning what they were doing with her, I returned to L&D only to hear them call a hemorrhage on this patient and have everyone rush over to her over in MBU.  It was crazy, and I came right after them, adrenaline pumping in this weird way.  Of course being a teaching hospital there were way too many people present in her little room, but I tracked down baby in another room with her visiting family.  My patient ultimately ended up back in L&D where there is more one on one care (1 nurse to 1 patient).  Ultimately I'm not certain what will end up happening with this patient, but overall it was pretty scary.  Through it all, I was able to work with baby, Dad, and the 2 1/2 year old sister.  I still think this is definitely the right career move for me and I look forward to every experience it brings.

And because I've had this song in my head since last night, it wins the blog song of today's post:
"How To Save A Life"~The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God, he hears you
And pray to God, he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

How to save a life 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

So, Tiff Did It, Me Too!

Anyone who knows me knows I will usually do something Tiffany does, without question, usually without even a forethought to whether or not I should be doing it or not!  So, in true follower style:

(A) Age:  32

(B) Bed Size:  Queen, but wouldn't matter the size, I always sleep on the edge...

(C) Chore You Hate:  Dishes, eck

(D) Dogs?:  Had one, still want one someday, but not during school and not until I can feel less guilty towards them being left alone...

(E) Essential Start Your Day Item:  Caffeine and plenty of sleep

(F) Favorite Color:  Pink & Blue

(G) Gold or Silver? How about white gold?  Ok, No?  How about silver then.

(H) Height: Too freaking tall.  5'11 3/4"

(I) Instruments You Play:  My vocal chords typically....but someday I hope to play piano.

(J) Job Title: Student

(K) Kids:  Someday I hope to have some of my own

(L) Live: Puyallup 

(M) Mom's Name: Jodie

(N) Nicknames: James, Liver, Jaim-Dogg, 

(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? Lap-Band in, Lap-Band out, Appendectomy with adhesion removals...yeah the list goes on and on and on....

(P) Pet Peeve: Random repeating irritating noises...

(Q) Quote from a Movie:  Wow I have to pick just one?  Um, "Sometimes I pray for a love that even time will lie down and be still for" ---since it's on my facebook page.

(R) Right or Left Handed? Give it up for right handed

(S) Siblings: Laurie biological sister.  Tiffany-adopted sister.

(T) Time You Wake Up? As late as I possibly can.

(U) Underwear: Yes, mostly, depends on the activity of course!  I do not recommend boy shorts for soccer.

(V) Vegetable You Dislike:  Tomatoes, which is technically a fruit I know, but still.  Slimy and disgusting, yeck!

(W) What Makes You Run Late:  Ha ha, myself?!?

(X) X-Rays You've Had Done:  Oh geez, too many to count.  Comes with being accident prone.  How about: ankle, chest, head, neck, spine, abdomen, and that's not including CT scan's...

(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Hmm, I'm going to go with my baking skills and say chocolate chip cookies.

(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: I hate zoos, I hate seeing animals caged up, I prefer them where God wanted them to be....out in the open wild.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Mother-Baby Unit=Awesome

Well I've completed my few days of my obstetrics rotation in the Mother Baby unit.  I have to tell you, it was fantastic!  Jodi, my classmate and cohort in crime, she actually said I was glowing.  That's a high compliment considering I am the palest chick ever and typically during our school stuff I am constantly telling her how not smart I am.  I got to care for the same mom and baby couplet on Tuesday and could not have been more excited to work with them.  I was able to be present during a very scary situation for this first time mom.  Just before I was ready to be observed by my instructor for my newborn assessment I realized that my mom's room was out of medium sized gloves.  So I went to get some gloves and when I came back I heard my mom call out, "Tami?" which is the name of the nurse I was assisting that was actually assigned to her.  I told her no, that it was me, and she said, "can you please come help me right away?".  I immediately went into her area only to find her standing over baby's crib with baby turned to one side and the bulb syringe in her hand (for those of you who don't know what a bulb syringe looks like, it's the thing that people use to suck out baby's boogers).  Turns out baby was coughing/spitting up mucous, which is normal in the first 48 hours of life, as well as the colostrum that he had already partially ingested earlier that day (colostrum is the pre-cursor to a woman's breast milk coming into her breasts).  I picked baby up and immediately put him over my shoulder as mom watched nervously on, concerned that her baby was choking or somehow being injured.  I reassured her as best I could that he was just fine, he was still breathing and getting air as was apparent by his pink skin tone and lusty breaths he was taking.  My instructor was nearby and I had her confirm with me what I had found and mom started crying, as any first time mom might, absolutely scared and terrified at what her baby is doing and worried about the time when she would be going home with baby alone.  I comforted her as best I could and reassured her that she had already done the right thing, trying to boost her confidence as best I could to assure her that she would do just fine with this new and exciting world of parenting.  The best part of the next few hours I spent with her and her family, as well as baby, were reassuring her of her abilities and AGAIN getting baby to latch effectively onto the breast for breastfeeding.  She had not done this since I had been there the previous day (she had been pumping and bottle feeding baby the breast milk), so I felt very proud of my skills in assisting with her breastfeeding.  By the end of the night when I had to say my goodbyes mom was asking if I could just come move in with her for a few weeks until Dad comes home from deployment.  I told her absolutely, because of course who wouldn't want to be the expert on something and help people?!?!?  Not me obviously.  But it was bittersweet to say goodbye and I truly wish her all the best with her new role as Mom.

People, this was an absolutely beautiful experience for me.  It may in fact be where I end up in nursing, who knows, but I am definitely leaving the option open.  I am excited for labor and delivery and to see the miracle of birth as it happens (well aside from watching Tiffany and my sister, hello ladies!).  I feel so blessed to be a part of these families lives as they welcome a new life into the world and reminded of just how awesome a presence God is in all of this.  If anything in this world can be proven to show that we have a creator in this world it is the process of conception, pregnancy, and giving birth.  Okay, sorry everyone for waxing somewhat nostalgic there.  I truly hope this is something I get to experience in my life.

Another thing I was able to experience yesterday was the MOM's group.  This is a weekly meeting on Tuesdays where new moms can bring babies to be weighed, consult with lactation, and discuss any issues with the pediatrician that is available.  I lucked out as I immediately was able to assist a mother of twins with caring for the male infant while she was changing and comforting the female infant, who had had a major blowout in her diaper.  I picked baby up, cradled him against my chest with the binky in his mouth, and rocked him back and forth as I sang to him.  I am slightly embarrassed to say that Jodi in fact witnessed me singing to him, which I did not realize until today, but she said my voice was pretty as I sang, "Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can barely breathe".....did I mention again how much I love babies and children?!?!  Anyway, yet again this was a time when I was "glowing".  I also got caught making goo goo faces at another baby that was there, which of course makes me feel silly.

Long post, so time to end with a song.  It's another one I sing to Frances before bed, although now she tells me (if I try to hum any of it) that I need to keep singing.  Smart kid that one.
"Down to the River to Pray"~Allison Krauss
As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the starry crown?
Good Lord show me the way!

O sisters let's go down
Let's go down, come on down
O sisters let's go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the robe & crown?
Good Lord show me the way

O brothers let's go down
Let's go down, come on down
Come on brothers, let's go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the starry crown?
Good Lord show me the way

O fathers let's go down
Let's go down, come on down
O fathers let's go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the robe and crown?
Good Lord show me the way

O mothers let's go down
Come on down, don't you wanna go down?
Come on mothers, let's go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studding about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the starry crown?
Good Lord show me the way

O sinners, let's go down
Let's go down, come on down
O sinners, let's go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the robe and crown?
Good Lord show me the way 

Monday, March 07, 2011

Good Day

I post a lot of depressing stuff here sometimes, I admit it....hey people when you are sarcastic and depressed sometimes that is what you have to post about.  But today, today was a good day and I wanted to capture and remember it.  Was it the most particular fantastic thing that could have happened today...NO...but it was just overall a decent day.  It was  my long day today for the OB rotation, 12 hours from start to finish.  I started off my day with two of my favorite classmates and I tagging along with the lactation consultant out at Madigan.  She did a great job, and although it was a very rare slow day, we were able to ask her a lot of questions and I feel personally like I learned some great things from her.  After a brief break we began our time on the mother-baby unit and I was super happy with the couplet that I was assigned to.  A couplet refers to caring for the mother and baby as a pair (since I know some of you will not have heard that term before I thought I'd tell you what it meant).  This mother was a 38 year old first time mother who thought she'd never be able to have kids.  She married late in life and found the spouse she'd been looking for and after much trying and some issues/setbacks she did conceive and I got to see the beautiful positive proof of that today at the hospital.  Now this baby boy was beautiful with a full head of dark hair and gorgeous skin...he also happened to be the biggest baby I've seen born yet, 11 lbs. 9 oz.  Poor mom delivered him vaginally and she ended up with a 4th degree laceration.  I'll spare you the scary and horrific details but needless to say she's going to be doing some recovery time after this delivery.  The highlight of my day was being able to allay this woman's fears related to breastfeeding AND spending enough time with her I was able, with the assistance of my instructor, to help her and baby boy together for the first latch and basically her first successful breastfeeding.  I couldn't have been more excited!  I know this may not seem like the most awesome thing to some of you, but trust me if you had been there....you would have understood what a success this is for a new mom to achieve.  I am so happy and proud that I was able to be a part of that.

Now on another note, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, a lot of questioning both of myself and others.  I will spare you all the super boring details but needless to say I've started making some changes in my life...well mostly in the last 24 hours.  One physical change is that I started a new eating and workout plan, courtesy of my super healthy BFF Tiffany.  She's thinking she might want to do nutrition/fitness/something...with her next career path so I guess you could say I am technically going to be her first client.  One not so physical change that I have also done, well some of you won't really understand or believe it, but I asked for forgiveness....with true feelings of regret, sadness, and sorrow over things that I have done I prayed for forgiveness.  Just one more step in the process of growing and changing and being the person I know I am and want to be.

On that note, my song for tonight is Mumford & Sons, of course.  "Awake My Soul"
How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free
Har har, har har, har har, har har

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker


Thursday, March 03, 2011

No Apologies!

I used to say this phrase to myself quite a bit, then I modified it to really be something more along the lines of no regrets.  I'm not the type of person to dwell on a decision for a long time before I make it; afterwards, yes, but beforehand there is not always a lot of forethought.  Does this lead me into some trouble spots?  Well of course it does dear readers otherwise I would not be blogging about it now would I.
I tend to be the type of person who cares easily for others and not very well for myself.  I am great at throwing myself into someone else's problems, their life, their whole being....and completely miss the fact that inside of my own body there is a WAR raging that will not be soothed without some effort on my part.  Sometimes I think that I do this on purpose, after all its much easier to dispense advice than to listen to ones own and try to follow it.  For me, it's also always been easier to care about another person than to care about myself.  Subconsciously perhaps, but maybe this is because deep down I don't think I'm worth caring about?!?  Just throwing some self-therapy out at you, no need to be alarmed.  Do I change that?  Well I like to think that I can, and I try from time to time, taking care of myself that is.  It seems so simple, yet to someone who sucks at it, it might as well be my own personal Mt. Everest.
Related to this very issue is another thing that was brought to my attention, again, recently.  I care TOO much, if such a thing is possible.  This is often told/suggested to me in the context of me thinking too deeply, being too emotional, and/or treading somewhere that I was not wanted.  So then I wonder, and ponder, and wonder some more....can someone learn to care less?  And if they can, is this necessarily a good thing, or is the world in general not balanced by people like me caring too much against those in the world who care too little?!?!  I refuse to think, that of all the possible things in life to worry about, me caring too much about people is really a bad thing.  It also seems to be an inherent part of my nature, and in so being, I refuse to apologize for that.  There is nothing wrong with being me, aside from choosing people in my life who often don't care about me as much as I do about them.  If that is the worst thing that comes from it, along with me sometimes having my feelings hurt, I really don't think I need a 12 step program to work over/through it.  There is much more I would like to say (isn't there usually?), but in the interest of maintaining some brevity...I will end on this note.
On Saturday I get to attend a birth class and birthing inn tour for my OB class.  Although not the most exciting of things, I am looking forward to this experience.  Who knows, maybe it will benefit me in the not too far future.
Not related to this post whatsoever, but it was the last song I just listened to....
"Skin"~Rihanna
The mood is set,
So you already know what's next.
TV on blast,
Turn it down,
Turn it down.
Don't want it to clash,
With my body screaming now.
I know you hearin' it,
You got me moaning now.
I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh.
I got a secret imma drop em to the floor, oh.

[Hook:]
No teasin,
You waited long enough.
Go deep,
Imma throw it at ya,
Can't catch it.
Don't hold back,
You know I like it rough.
Know I'm feelin ya, huh.
Know you liking it, huh.

[Chorus:]
So why you standing over there with ya clothes on,
Baby strip down for me,
Go on take em off.
Don't worry baby,
Imma meet you half way,
Cause I know you wanna see me.

[Verse 2:]
Almost there,
So baby don't stop what you're doing.
Softer than them others
Boy I know you wanna touch.
Breathing down my neck,
I can tell ya wanna -
And now you want it like,
Want you to feel it now.
I got a secret that I wanna show you, ou.
I got a secret Imma drop em to the floor, ou.

[Hook:]
No teasin,
You waited long enough.
Go deep,
Imma throw it at ya,
Can't catch it.
Don't hold back,
You know I like it rough.
Know I'm feelin ya, huh.
Know you liking it, huh.

[Chorus:]
So why you standing over there with ya clothes on,
Baby strip down for me,
Go on take em off.
Don't worry baby,
Imma meet you half way,
Cause I know you wanna see me.

[Chorus 2:]
No heels,
No shirt,
No skirt,
All I'm in is just skin.
No jeans,
Take em off,
Wanna feel your skin.
You a beast, oh.
You know that I like that.
Come on baby,
All I wanna see you in is just skin.

[Bridge:]
All in baby,
Don't hold nothing back.
Wanna take control,
Nothing wrong with that.
Say you liking how I feel,
Ain't gotta tell me that.
Just put your skin baby on my skin.

[Chorus 2:]
No heels,
No shirt,
No skirt,
All I'm in is just skin.
No jeans,
Take em off,
Wanna feel your skin.
You a beast, oh.
You know that I like that.
Come on baby,
All I wanna see you in is just skin.

No heels,
No shirt,
No skirt,
All I'm in is just skin.
No jeans,
Take em off,
Wanna feel your skin.
You a beast, oh.
You know that I like that.
Come on baby,
All I wanna see you in is just skin.
All I wanna see you in is just skin.
All I wanna see you in is just skin.
All I wanna see you in
All I wanna see you in is your skin, oh.