Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Ch Ch Ch Changes

Yeah, that title up there, it's me singing the lyrics to a song.  If you didn't get that...well who knows why you are even here reading my blog.  I'm a lyric crazy singing girl, it's what I do, it's who I am....moving on!  So I realize I've posted about changes before, but in some ways this is more about the opposite of that.  Sometimes I think, or at least in recent time frames it has seemed, that even though we may change-the people around us cannot accept nor acknowledge that we have changed in any way.  Yet at the same time, those around us that make changes they want to be acknowledged for, I do that, I give them the reinforcement they need.  Yet amazingly enough reciprocation is apparently something that is not expected or given from some of these people.  So I guess to some degree, no matter how many positive strides I make in life or how I grow into a better person, will never been seen by these people.  I will still be a huddling mass bundle of emotions, fickle in my affection, and never content to settle on any one thing (or in other words, at least somewhat below the age of 21).

Onto another matter, spring semester of my nursing school has commenced.  So far it is going to be overwhelming, very busy, and very challenging.  But, I can't help thinking, I'm only 8 months away from getting my license as an RN.  This semester I get to work in OB, Labor & Delivery, community health, and my second rotation of medical-surgical (or as we call it Med/Surg).  I like my teachers that I have this semester, one of whom is a repeat who was very helpful to me when I was struggling, so that is a great thing.  Sometime this semester we also get to start working on getting our preceptorships for the summer.  This is basically an internship of sorts, where we work side by side with a nurse all summer; hopefully in the field of our choosing.  My first choice for work still remains, at this point, the NICU, so I will work hard to get my preceptor at either MAMC or Mary Bridge (which are the two choices we have down here for level 3 NICU's).  If I can't get NICU I will likely try to get one of my favorite clinical instructors who works down in Olympia.  She works in neuro which is not a main interest of mine, however this instructor will make sure I learn a lot and that's better than being stuck somewhere.  I also greatly enjoy this person on a personal level so that helps quite a bit!

Time to get back to studying, the song to leave you with today is The Cave by Mumford & Sons
"It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again"