Monday, January 17, 2011

Deep~Maybe too Deep

Okay knowing me, you likely will all think the title is going to be about something sexual, however it is not, so please do not get your hopes up.  As evidenced by my last blog title, and perhaps alluded to with this blog title, I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately.  Sometimes too much I am sure, as I am likely to do in almost any given situation.  Give me something completely simple and I'm pretty sure I can make it into the most complex thing you have ever heard of in your life AND I'll have you believing the way I think about it too.  It's a gift...for what I do not know, but anyway, I digress.  So I was hanging out with a friend the other day, now this friend is admittedly more religious than I am and has lead what can only be described as a completely different life than I have.  We got into a discussion about some things (like pre-marital sex, adultery, getting drunk, etc) and an interesting concept emerged (at least for me, it was not so much for him).  I've always felt that God knows about the things we do, he understands these things right, we were made in his image....etc.  So in my mind, the things we do and are ultimately forgiven and are not that horrible of things (well except for something like say murder).  Now this friend of mine, he denies himself many things in life because he is trying to live what is the best most righteous path he can lead.  So the interesting part took place when I considered this in reference to my own life.  I make NO evaluative judgment on how he is living his life or how anyone else chooses to live theirs, so please do not mistake my very over-simplified explanation of this story as such.  Now, as most of you know, I am a fairly hedonistic person (for those not in the know this is the idea that pleasure is the only intrinsic good).  Now I am not quite that black and white, but yeah if it feels good, I'm probably gonna do it, consequences be damned. So....long way back to the point here.
I started to wonder what things might be different in my life if I had ever stopped at one of these points and said...no, I'm not going to do this because there is something better for me?  Or if I had ever once considered holding out on the short term goal because the long term goal was so much better and brighter.  I mean take my weight loss for instance; I enjoy food (who the hell doesn't really?), but if I was able to fore-go the immediate pleasure of eating something now for the ultimate goal/pleasure of meeting my goal weight/looking how I want/etc...what might that feel like?  How might my life be different if I decided to do this more often.  So, from this spiritual crisis (I won't get into all the details with you), I think I've come to a new place on many topics/areas in my life.  I'm hoping this will be a more positive and happy change for me when it comes to making my goals happen.  At the very least, I know it's not going to be worse than anything else I've been doing....right?!?!



"Start a Fire" ~Ryan Star
I remember when you said your father's asleep
I remember swimming as our clothes drifted off to sea.

So wake up, wake up dreaming,
And lie here with me,
So wake up, wake up dreaming,
And lie here with me.

Here we go,
Just lose control and let your body give in,
To the beat,
Of your heart as my hand touches your skin,
Is this love
Or,
Just sexual desire,
We're gonna start a fire!

I remember drinking as the stars were falling,
I remember dancing on the hotel's unmade bed.

So wake up, wake up dreaming,
And lie here with me,
So wake up, wake up dreaming,
And lie here with me.

Here we go,
Just lose control and let your body give in,
To the beat,
Of your heart as my hand touches your skin,
Is this love
Or,
Just sexual desire,
We're gonna start a fire!

Here we go,
Just lose control and let your body give in,
To the beat,
Of your heart as my hand touches your skin,
Is this love
Or,
Just sexual desire,
We're gonna start a fire!

Taking chances in the back of your car,
We burn and on my radio is "Rockin' in a Free World,
S.O.S.
So obsessed,
Oh you make me such a mess,
Why can't this just last forever, why, why, why?

So wake up, wake up dreaming,
And lie here with me,
So wake up, wake up dreaming,
And lie here with me.

Here we go,
Just lose control and let your body give in,
To the beat,
Of your heart as my hand touches your skin,
Is this love
Or,
Just sexual desire,
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!

Here we go,
Just lose control and let your body give in,
To the beat,
Of your heart as my hand touches your skin,
Is this love
Or,
Just sexual desire,
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!
We're gonna start a fire!

1 comment:

SarahLynn said...

Very deep indeed. Sometimes it can be hard to see what that long term outcome will be, and knowing when to say no to our impulses can be even harder. Good luck to you, it's always good to slow down and think about why we are doing something and try to figure out if it will get us what we want in the long run. Try not to be too hard on your self, and I hope this gives you the "focus" you are looking for.