Saturday, December 24, 2011

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays to all my blogger friends and readers.  Hope you spent a wonderful day with you family or friends or whomever you chose.  I am happy to report that I passed my classes with good grades and am progressing along just fine.  YEAH!!  Today I am thankful for friends and family and am blessed to have a job and my health.  There is more I would like to add but I think I'll save it for another post.
Happy Holidays!!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Writing Again

Yes, I am writing again.  This is amazing considering that I just finished writing a one page paper.  You would think that my capacity to put written word to page (so to speak) would be tapped out.  But no, you would be wrong.  Only two more weeks of school left.  So glad this semester is almost over.  But at the same time, I have a ten page monstrosity of a paper that I have to write before that time period is over.  Not really looking forward to that.  But as per usual I'm sure I will write it under the pressure of a deadline and it will be all good...hopefully.
So, I have already purchased three christmas presents this year.  That is EARLY for me. I'm determined to knock out shopping sometime before December 15th I think.  It's a VERY nice thing to be earning some money finally again.  Now if I could find that work/school/life balance then all would be perfect.
Ok, so it's a short post.  Off to hang out in the house.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Emotional One

Yes, that's me, the emotional one.  At least it is tonight.  The evening before thanksgiving and I feel like I have so many things to be thankful for.  First off, thankful to be alive and mostly healthy.  Recent events have shown me that although I might be on the heavier side of life, that I have a lot of things in my favor that other people don't have and I am thankful to be healthy.  I'm also thankful for having a family that although can be crazy and wild at times, loves me no matter what.  I'm happy to be a part of a family that loves each other, no matter what happens.  Up or down, love is still there.  I'm so happy and proud to be an Aunt to Frances, Trina, Devan, Niko, Evan, and Alec.  Some of those I added myself too, but hey, I feel like I'm their Aunt.  Being their Aunt in my head and heart is what matters.  I'm thankful for singing to Frances at night sometimes and putting her to sleep, even for having her correct me when I sing the wrong words.  She brings me a peace that I've not known in other areas of my life.  I'm thankful for my KJ who keeps me sane and supports me no matter what.  I'm thankful for my friends who love me unconditionally and are there for me when I need them, in sometimes the dumbest ways possible.  I hope to God that I am as decent a friend to those who care for me as I care for them.  So before I get too far into sounding like an idiot I'm going to leave it there.  I'm thankful.  Thankful for everything I have, everything I've been given, and everything I don't even realize I have....

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Saturday this time (Graphic Warning!)

Life is precarious and special.  How do I know this you ask?  Well it was sort of a bad day for me on my unit.  Not really bad, someone didn't die, but something scary did happen.  I took over at change of shift for a woman who had just delivered her baby girl.  Now, the common procedure is to check her blood pressure and vitals every 15 minutes and also to massage her fundus and check on her bleeding.  All seemed to be going well, but after the five checks were over (the minimum amount of times we are required to do this), she complained of feeling dizzy and feeling a lot of gushing.  I laid her back and immediately tried to massage the fundus and was unable to find it at that time.  I called out calmly for help on the intercom and sure enough my patient was experiencing a little postpartum hemorrhage.  Eventually had to happen I suppose in my line of work but this left me pretty shaken up for the rest of the night.  She was fine by the way, lest I leave anyone concerned for her well being, just had to have her bladder emptied and a little medication given via IV and rectally (good times).  But of course this whole experience had me thinking too much, as I'm prone to do.  These women and babies that are born in my care, they are putting their lives in my hands.  The littlest thing could end up damaging someone, like too much air in an IV line, and I worry almost every day that I might do something that will damage somebody...let alone that I could accidentally kill them.  It's a scary thought and I try to have reverence for the fact that what I am doing is very serious work and should be taken as such.  I know there are bound to be more nights like this, and nights where something even more scary could happen. I hope they are few and far in between and that I do whatever is best and right for my patients.
With that thought in mind, here was my song for tonight...
"Breakable"~Ingrid Michaelson
Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.

Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls-
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys. 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

It's Beer O'Clock Sunday!

Aren't you excited?  I know I am.  5 nights from tonight it's the premiere of Breaking Dawn (yes I'm a twihard in case you didn't know and NO I don't care if you judge me because of it).  As of right now I'm going on Friday with Tiffany (my bff) and Sarah (my twinnie) and hopefully maybe again on Sunday with Kendra (one friend)...but she hasn't responded quite yet.  Speaking of responses, apparently you only get comments on your blog if you allow anonymous posters to post questions you are expected to answer.  Ever since I posted that blog about how you should be brave enough to at least put your name on your post....nothing!  Now granted, my blogs aren't exactly earth shattering motivational type lovely dovey type posts, but a comment here and there would be nice.  (Now of course I'll probably get several comments and they will likely be making fun of me, but I don't care).  :)  As the blog says, those who know me love me and if you don't know me or love me...then who the F cares.
So, I'm watching the third movie in the Twilight series again tonight.  Watched New Moon again tonight also (had to order both of these this week as my New Moon had mysteriously disappeared-for which I blame Kerry as it's the one I relate to the most and I think she doesn't like to see me cry to it)...but anywho, I digress.  I ordered both 2 and 3 from amazon earlier this week.  Watching them again just gets me all ramped up for the premiere of Breaking Dawn this weekend.  It will be the highlight of my week to say the least.
Today I spent a lot of time sleeping.  I really needed to catch up, I seriously had a mini breakdown at school on Friday after one of my classmates told me that I looked like shit (he said it nicer than this, but still, the effect was the same).  I feel like I am caught up on sleep at least, thank God.  Now I need to catch up on homework.  Need to find the motivation for that.  UGH!
No song to leave you with tonight, all I have are movie lines in my head.  And of course given this post, you could all guess what they might be!  Happy Sunday!!

Monday, November 07, 2011

'Cause I Can

So I've decided to write another blog post.  No particular reason behind this decision, but I'm home, I recently finished a portion of homework, and as the title says...I can!  So interesting day today.  At work we had to discuss fetal demises, still births, non viable live births, and neonatal resuscitation.  That's sort of a depressing yet necessary topic that had to be covered.  The weird part about this is that I had a good day!  Do you think that makes me morbid/weird?!?  Oh well, I am ME and that's all I can be.  So my friend Kendra, who doesn't have a blog so I have to share this story for her, was on the Sounder train today when it apparently hit someone.  She ended up having to be stuck on the train for over 2 1/2 hours (I think, sorry if the time isn't exact) and over such a depressing thing to have happen.  Yet again, my good mood stayed.  I listened to some emotive (big word) instrumental music that my friend Seth sent me, and still my good mood stayed.  Fricking weird!  That's what that is.  So now I'm writing a blog post mostly because I don't want to do anymore homework, there is nothing on TV, and now you all have to read what I'm writing about.  Well you don't have to, but assuming you're here you're going to anyway because you want to know what I'm writing about.....
Speaking of nothing being on TV, watching Monty Python's Life of Brian.  Not normally something I would choose, but hey, here it is on my TV anyway.  So my other plan for the night (other than to take Kendra to her car which didn't happen cause they bus-ed people up to the park and ride) was to go to my sister's house and put the baby (yes Tiff I know she's 3 years old and Sarah had a baby that is younger, but Frances is still the baby to me) to sleep.  Why would I want to go put a 3 year old to sleep you ask?  SEE ABOVE people...I am weird.  I love singing her to sleep at night, after we read several books where she sometimes corrects me if I read it wrong or I don't say it with the voices/noises that her mama does.  And of course as I'm singing her to sleep if I try to hum the words she corrects me and tells me to sing it instead....thankfully when she falls into the first stage of her sleep she will let me hum it.  There are only so many times I can sing the 4 songs of my "Frances Night Time" repertoire before I just want to hum it.  Not to mention the fact that two of those songs I'm a little light on the lyrics in (which she thankfully doesn't know yet).
So I got tired of Monty Python, switched to Law and Order Criminal Intent.  I know I know, it's not SVU,  but it will do in a pinch.  Have you ever watched the London/UK/British version of Law and Order?  I've tried to watch it, can't really get into it the same way that I can the originals!  I'm sure you're all tired of reading my randomness for the night so I'll leave you with a song dedicated to a special someone...you know who you are!!

One and Only~Adele
You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
Lose myself in time
Just thinking of your face
God only knows
Why it's taking me so long
To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never try
To forgive your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts

I've been on your mind
You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time
At the mention of my name,
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before
Every feeling every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never tried
To forgive your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart
(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
Come on and give me a chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts. 

Sunday, November 06, 2011

One Month In..

Well one month in to the school/work/life combination and its definitely had its ups and downs.  There are some nights that I have actually broken down in tears and wanted to give up on the whole thing.  Work itself is going great and I love that part of it.  School...well that's another story.  First of all, not sure the master's program is the right choice for me anymore.  But who knows what will happen.
Today was a semi-rough day at work.  Sort of slow and then on top of that I was zero/four for IV starts.  Such a bummer cause they looked like great starts to start with.  Then ended up not being the best things ever.  Totally lame.
What else is lame, sitting at home, on a Saturday night, at 0100 and still not asleep.  My mistake though since I forgot to refill my medications and thus have no sleeping pills for tonight.  ARGH!
I thought I had a lot to write about...turns out I actually don't.  So I'll say goodnight for now and see you all on the flip side.

Monday, October 17, 2011

One Week In

Well I'm one week in to the work and school schedule and so far it's going ok.  Work is really boring right now but its about to get more exciting at the end of this week~we'll actually finally be on the floor, thankfully.  I am so tired of sitting in classrooms for hours on end, sometimes learning stuff that is new but mostly learning stuff I already knew (about the job anyway).  And then of course there is having to sit on my butt during my school classes too.  Oh joy oh fun times.  We have this really hard class this semester called Nursing Theory and of course its taught by the Dean!  So you know, its not exactly a class you can blow off or give a minimal effort in.  I have stayed caught up with all of my readings this semester which is better than I normally do. I mean I usually get caught up at some point or another but actually staying on top of stuff...not as bad as I imagined!
So I'm sitting at the Starbucks near my house studying (well right now I'm obviously on a break from studying).  I can't seem to study very well at home, there are too many things to distract me-like the cats, chores, the tv, my phone, the computer (i.e. facebook)~super difficult for me.  I just don't seem to have that same problem when I'm at a Starbucks, even though some of the same temptations are here that are at home.  Well, on that note, I should probably get back to it!  Happy week to everyone out there in blog world!

No song to leave you with today.  Nothing weighing on the mind right now besides school---there just isn't a song for that one at the moment!  :)  

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Liked It!

Today was a good day.  I filled out my new hire paperwork, did some reading for school, hung out with my BFF's hubby and then hung out with my BFF.  Had to go out and get some business casual clothes for my first few weeks at orientation.  I also bought my first professional nursing shoes, some prism Dansko's, they are beautiful.  I can't wait to break them in...although they better be worth the cost, dammit!  So, overall was there anything super special about today~no not really.  But it was a good day and I'm ending it pretty happy so I figured I should blog about it.
Now all of the new stuff with a new job to go through-picking out benefits, new hire orientation, etc.  I'm excited and nervous at the same time!  Can't wait to get going, although sounds like I'll have to do some scheduling conflict resolution with school already.  That part is NO BUENO!
Ok short post for today, off to do some more reading and await the arrival of my KJ.  Love her!!

"This Life"~Curtis Stigers (Sons of Anarchy Theme Song)

Riding through this world, all alone
God takes your soul; you're on your own
The crow flies straight, a perfect line
On the Devil's back until you die
This life is short, baby that's a fact
Better live it right, you ain't coming back
Gotta raise some Hell before they take you down
Gotta live this life
Gotta look this world in the eye
Gotta live this life 'till you die
You better have soul, nothing less
Cos when it's business time, it's life or death
The King is dead, the light goes on
Don't lose your head when the deal goes down
Better keep your eyes on the road ahead
Gotta live this life
Gotta look this world in the eye
Gotta live this life until you die


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

What a DAY!

So, first off, anonymous posted the following on my comments page, "Glad to see another post, but what's up?"
Not sure if you can see that but it says, Glad to see another post, but what's up?  Well let's see, if you aren't brave enough to at least leave your name, why should I answer your question?  Maybe you're someone I know, maybe you're not, but maybe you're someone who isn't supposed to be reading my blog in the first place.  If you want me to answer your questions at the very least, come on, leave a name or something that tells me who you are.  But in the good spirit of being a cool chick like I am, what's up, the answer is everything.
Today I took my NCLEX examination, the big exam that tells the state if I'm competent enough to be an RN.  In addition to that, I got my job offer to work in labor and delivery at the hospital I was precepting at this summer.  That is a BIG day people.  Huge enormous big day for me.  I am so excited I can't even begin to tell everyone how happy I am.  Everything hinges on me finding out whether or not I passed this test.  Hopefully if you're reading this you will keep your fingers crossed that I did.
Will post more after I know more, but for now, I'm an L&D nurse!  :)
"All That You Are"~Goo Goo Dolls
And I feel,
All the faint morning light,
Filled with hope 'cause you're here in my life,
And we've gone,
From the edge of our souls,
Made it back to a place we call home.

You, see me through,
I was alone in the dark and the fear was my truth.

Yeah, all the things that you are,
Beautifully broken, alive in my heart,
And know that you are everything,
Let your heart sing and tonight, we light up the stars,
All that you are.

I feel wrong,
I'm so human and flawed,
I break down even though I'm still strong,
And time, will make fools of us all,
Builds us up, and then laughs when we fall.

You, pull me through,
When I'm alone in the dark and the fear was my truth.

Yeah, all the things that you are,
Beautifully broken, alive in my heart,
And know that you are everything,
Let your heart sing and tonight, we light up the stars,
All that you are.

You're the sound of redemption,
The faith that I've lost,
The answers I'm seeking no matter the cost,
You opened the window,
Now I can see,
And you taught me forgiveness by giving your love back to me.

Yeah, all the things that you are,
Beautifully broken, alive in my heart,
And know that you are everything,
Let your heart sing and tonight, we light up the stars,
All that you are.

Yeah, all the things that you are,
Beautifully broken, alive in my heart,
And know that you are everything,
Let your heart sing and tonight,
Let your heart sing and tonight, we light up the stars,
All that you are.

Oh I feel,
All the faint morning light,
Filled with hope 'cause you're here in my life.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Already?

I know, I'm posting again already.  Be forewarned fair readers, this may be an emotional post.  Or not, I'm not quite sure.  I have a lot I want to say, but for some reason none of it's coming out the way it normally does.  Usually I can put my fingers to the keyboard and just start typing away.  But what I want to say and what I should say and how I say what I say....well some of those things just don't add up the way they should.  Maybe it's the stress from school, maybe it's the few beers I've had this evening...who knows?  LOL.
Nothing to add really too much to what's going on for right now.  Except here is a song for right now.
"The Letting Go"~Melissa Etheridge

I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place
I have held the winter's son
Become one
Set my pace
Isn't that what we wanted all along
Freedom like a stone
Maybe we were wrong
But I can say goodbye
Now that the passion's died
Still it comes so slow
The letting go
Piece by piece I take apart
This complicated heart
And I hope to find
Something I can prove is real
I can feel is truth
I can say is mine
That's all I even wanted to be
The closer I got
The further I could see
But when lovers change
And the night feels strange
We choose our road
The letting go
I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Not Quite a Month Yet

So I'm getting another post in in just under a month this time.  Woohoo!  I enjoyed my break off from school and have even continued it forward a bit into the semester.  I went camping twice, once with mom and once with Michelle, at Grayland and Ft. Flagler respectively.  I had a good time both times and it was nice to be out in nature.  At Michelle's camp we had the most awesome people friendly squirrels who were entertaining to watch and kept getting into stuff at everyone's campsite.  They really terrorized a young couple behind us, which was better than watching reality TV (or we're just that bored while camping that it was).  Played a round of golf, which wasn't my strong suit, but hard to tell if one is improving really when you don't go all that frequently (twice this year, YEAH!).
Also just returned from a weekend in Eastern WA watching my good friend John get married.  Wedding was beautiful, weather turned out great, reception was a rocking good party, and I ended the night early drunk and put to bed in the yurt (where we later had an after party that I'd like to tell you more about, but hello, read my previous sentence).  All I know is that fairly early in the morning, around 530 or so, woke up to four people in the king size bed and two of them went back to their own yurt.  Good times obviously when we all have to pass out in one bed.
I take my NCLEX a week from today.  I'm both nervous and excited about it.  I'm of course nervous because it will be difficult and long and challenging and everything else everyone says about it.  I'm also excited to just have it over and done with (assuming of course that I pass and am officially an RN at that point).  Still waiting to hear back on my job interview that I had for the RN residency in labor and delivery, but there was an update to that at least (they said it would be a long process).  They emailed me last week asking for my references and all four references have completed their portion of the job.  Hoping this is of course good news and means I'm moving forward in the process.
So, not a super long blog, but long enough by any means.  Off to study, then work tonight, then spending the night at bff's house so I can watch the kiddos tomorrow (since their teachers are still on strike).  STUDY STUDY STUDY TIME!!
Today's song, as sung at the wedding (with some wrong lyrics)
"One and Only"~Adele
You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
Lose myself in time
Just thinking of your face
God only knows
Why it's taking me so long
To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never try
To forgive your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts

I've been on your mind
You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time
At the mention of my name,
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before
Every feeling every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never tried
To forgive your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart
(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance
To prove I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
Come on and give me a chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Tired....

So as my friend Michelle recently learned, I'm something of a party pooper these days.  I like to go to bed around this time (10pm and just later) and I like to sleep in (usually until around 9-10am).  I know, this is not really conducive to being alive and being part of the world, so on occasion I work on getting up earlier or staying up later trying to compensate for sleeping so much and being out of it so much of the time.  Funny thing, you would think with all that sleeping that I would feel well rested and ready to take on the world, but I don't.  Isn't that weird?!?  Well I think it is.
Spent most of today watching and caring for the children in my life.  Started off with my 1 of 2 weekly watching the Hicks kids while mama Tiff goes for her runs (she's a runner girl like that).  Then completed the babysitting with my little miss France-y pants and going to the park and going to the store and going to Auntie Meems house!  I had a great time today.  Ended the day by visiting my twinnie, Sarah, in the hospital and seeing baby Alec for the second day in a row.  Lucky enough he had a poopy diaper that his daddy Scott ended up changing.  Sometimes it's better to be the Auntie!
Short post, but at least ending with a song today.

Breathe In, Breathe Out-Mat Kearney
Breathe in, breathe out,
Tell me all of your doubts,
& Everybody bleeds this way,
Just the same.

Breathe in, breathe out,
Move on and break down,
If everyone goes away i will stay.

We push and pull,
& I fall down sometimes,
I'm not letting go,
You hold the other line.

Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes.

Hold on hold tight,
From out of your sight,
If everything keeps moving on, moving on,
Hold on hold tight,
Make it through another night,
& everyday there comes a song with the dawn,
We push and pull and I fall down sometimes,
I'm not letting go,
You hold the other line.

Cause there is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.

Breathe in, and breathe out.
Breathe in, and breathe out.
Breathe in, and breathe out.
Breathe in, and breathe out.

Look left look right,
To the moon in the night.
&; everything under the stars is in your arms.

Cause there is a light, in your eyes in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes.
There is a light, in your eyes, in your eyes. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Did It!!

Passed classes this semester, finished my 336 hours of clinical preceptorship time and also had an interview for an RN Residency position with labor and delivery.  It has been a busy few months, but I'm happy to say that I am now prepared to sit for my NCLEX and become a nurse.  Then it's just time to find a job, which hopefully won't be as difficult as everyone thinks it will be.  Now to celebrate with having a few weeks off.  I'm taking one of our teacher's suggestions and just relaxing as much as possible.  This will likely involve some house work that I've been neglecting, such as cleaning the bathrooms and organizing the desk and bookshelves.  I've also made it back to the gym which is a great thing AND tonight I'll be playing a soccer game...outdoors of course, in this gorgeous hot weather.  Summer sure made a late appearance, but at least it's here now.
Well, short post yet again, but my bff just got home and I think we're going to go have lunch!
Peace out!!

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Over a month, really?

Aw fuck it, should I really be surprised.  This has got to be my most stressful quarter of school ever, and that's putting it mildly.  In addition to working almost 40 hours a week at the hospital along with occasionally being at the hotel for work and then also doing homework and studying....it feels like I've hardly caught a breath.  I keep telling myself, only about 1 1/2 more weeks to go and then I'll be better off.  Some time between classes will feel really nice after this hellish time frame.  Then it's on to the NCLEX and massive studying for that.  I know I'll pass, I'm not worried about that, but the testing itself...again stressful.
Super short post tonight, sort of tired and a little wiped out from all that sun today.  See ya on the dark side!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Once again my friends and countrymen

"Lend me your ears and eyes, the showstopper is stupid fresh, when will you be satisfied?" Yeah that's right, I just started off my blog with salt n pepa lyrics.  I'm super dope def like that.  Once again it's time for late night blogging with Jaime.  I know I know, it's not all that late, but close enough.  I'm enjoying a few drinks tonight and if I wait until later....well who the hell knows what kind of blog you'll get.  Wait, I'm sober right now, and I can't really guarantee what kind of blog you'll get anyway.  Let's just face it people, if you have some sort of high brow expectation of a blog post.........you should totally head somewhere else.
Feeling a little inspired this evening, watching Legally Blonde, so how could I not?!?!  I saw two deliveries today in L&D, both were c-sections.  Sort of a bummer that they weren't vaginal deliveries, but for both of these ladies it had been long hard time of laboring so I'm sure they were excited to be done already.  One was a young girl, which I normally would have felt a lot of horror and pity for, however this was the most mature girl of her age that I've met in awhile and she had an excellent support system around her.  Her baby was very cute even though it was born asynclitic.  For those not in the know, this means that baby's head was slightly sideways and was not inline with the birth canal (which would explain why she had to have a c-section).
So after those two uninspired paragraphs I suddenly developed writers block.  Bummer.  Ok, so that's all for now folks!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Life & Death

No, what I have to say isn't a matter of (life & death that is), but that is what I'm going to talk about.  I started my preceptor-ship last week and it's going very well.  So far I've been in on about 4 births and have even coached a woman all the way through her labor to delivery.  It was freaking awesome, I loved it!  This family was waiting to find out the sex of their baby and they found out together.  It was a beautiful thing when their baby girl came out and the doctor announced it to both of them and they started crying together.  What has been interesting to see so far is that every lady's pregnancy is unique and special to them in different ways, just as their deliveries are too.  But with the good also comes the....not as good.
On Sunday I was able to take care of a woman who had to deliver her baby early and it was stillborn.  I can't begin to describe to you the range of emotions that went through me as the student nurse working with this family.  On the one hand it was hard not to cry and just break down for them in their loss.  On the other hand I had to be strong and support them in whatever manner they needed, yet also did not want to seem like I was uncaring for their situation.  I hope that the things I was able to do to help this family did in fact help them and that I was able to strike the right balance between professional and feeling.  My heart went out to them so much it was all I could do not to take the mom in my arms and just hold her and rock her (it didn't help that she was a petite little doll of a thing that I could probably pick up even if she had been 9 months pregnant).
Even despite the not as fun times I wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world.  Being able to witness miracles of life every day reminds me how precious life is and how brief and short it can all begin or end.  It makes me treasure the free time I have outside of school and look forward to the times I get to be at the hospital.  I hope I am making a difference in the lives of these families who so often are touching my own life!
No song for today, just leave you with  my good wishes and lots of love!

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Word of the day~Preceptorship

pre·cept

–noun
1.  a commandment or direction given as a rule of action or conduct.  2. an injunction as to moral conduct; maxim.  3. a procedural directive or rule, as for the performance of some technical operation.

I have had a lot of questions about my preceptorship for the summer.  I can come to the conclusion that this word does not in fact exist since every time I type it in either a document or facebook it inevitably is underlined in red like I've spelled it wrong.  The definition of precept is what I've listed above.  I'll add to that for my definition of preceptor-ship, it is like a non-paid internship for the summer whereby I am working alongside a nurse 1-1 all summer and learning more and doing more than we have done in previous clinical rotations.  I have been lucky enough to be assigned to the Family Birth Center at Tacoma General.  I am very happy and excited to see what I will be dealing with this summer and learning more than I have learned already.  But let's face it, I'm mostly excited because hello....babies!!!  Or as I keep telling people, I will be elbow deep in vag for most of the summer.  Ha ha.  I start tomorrow, Wednesday, and am greatly looking forward to it.  I'm also excited because typically in labor and delivery you get to wear hospital issued scrubs which means....no ugly uncomfortable PLU scrubs for the summer.  Woohoo!

We had the first day of summer semester on Monday and so far it looks manageable and like I will do well.  I've definitely already put a lot of effort in as I'm 11 out of 14 chapters into one of the books we need to read for the summer.  I actually printed stuff out ahead of time and am using my organizer book; which is odd for me to say the least.  So some exciting things coming up (not necessarily in any particular order):  Kendra's UW Graduation, Devan's 9th Birthday, Will's 39th Birthday, Sarah's Baby Shower, and of course Kerry's 41st Birthday too!  It is going to be a very busy summer I can tell already.  Enough for now, on to today's song...

"Turning Tables"~Adele

Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe

So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you
Where love is lost your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe

So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
Turning tables, yeah
Turning, oh 

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Keeping Up!

No, not with the Joneses, but at some points today with my best friend Tiffany.  Today Tiffany ran her 26.2 miles for a full marathon completed.  Sarah (the twinnie) and I traveled out to Port Angeles to support both her and Alyssa (who was running her first 1/2 marathon).  We of course did our usual awesome sign making and were glad that we were able to see both of the girls during their runs (we unfortunately missed Alyssa's big finish at about 2 hours 15 minutes).  What was awesome was being able to run w/Tiffany during several spots along her race path.  We caught her at the beginning of her race, her halfway point, about 20 miles, and then I caught her again around 25.2 miles.  Devan and I ran with her at the 20 mile mark and she was feeling pretty tired at that point.  I decided while we were waiting at the finish line for her that I would walk further down and run with her towards the finish, a final motivator on that last push of hers towards the full thing being finished.  So I kept walking until I came to a bridge and I waited there for her.  It was awesome to see my bff running towards me, looking very tired and ready to be done, but still running.  I started running alongside her and checking on how she was doing, if she was staying hydrated, and how she was feeling overall.  At one point she told me, "If I ever want to do this again, remind me how awful this feels right now and tell me I'm on drugs".  LOL.  It was pretty hilarious.  But she did make it to the end and finished in just under 5 hours, thinking around 4 hrs 55 minutes.  I'm very proud of Tiffany, even though sometimes along her training path we all wished the marathon was already over, I know that she worked hard to achieve this and am very proud of her for doing so.  She is officially a runner girl and has been since her first 1/2 marathon.  She inspires me to work out and push myself harder than I normally would.  She is amazing!!  I love you Tiffany.

"Suddenly I See"~KT Tunstall

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me 

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Complicated

"Why is everything with you so complicated?" title of this blog post and of course the first line of my post courtesy of Rihanna.  That's what is on my mind tonight.  I know it's something of a vague title and I'm sure some of you would like me to explain it in detail while others of you are pretty much reading this thinking...why the fuck do you even bother?  Yeah, I don't know either.  Sometimes I just feel like writing and for the hell of it, I write it to this blog and put it out there for everyone to see/read.  But dear reader, lest you think you know me from my posts, what I really want said and what I keep deep down and personal....it's not written this way.  Yes I write what I want to when it's dark, deep, or serious....it just goes to someone else and is shared in a much smaller circle.  I know, that seems weird for someone who is so open about things, but sometimes only certain people can understand, so I share that with them.
Been in a little bit of a bad mood this evening.  All my plans for tomorrow, Thursday, were canceled (for pretty good reasons, but still a bummer) so now I'm at home with the TV, my dog friend Hurley (who I'm dog sitting), the fireplace on and a six pack of Blue Moon's summer seasonal ale.  Not a horrible way to spend a Wednesday night, but it's mostly out of annoyance/defeatedness which really sucks.  (Yes, I am aware defeatedness isn't a word but you'll just have to roll with it).  On top of all of this, I am apparently one of two (out of 17) of my classmates that hasn't yet got their preceptor-ship.  So, I'm supposed to start this next week and still have no idea what department, hours, or facility I will be working in...just know that I will be at a multicare facility.  ARGH!
Ok, so unrelated to any of these topics, and totally off subject and likely too much information I recently got some new bras.  These bras make my boobs look awesome and I love them.  Thanks for allowing the interjection of my boob information.
I went running with my best friend today.  She did four miles and I got about 2.25 in, but it was awesome to be out there in the sun with her.  We got our runs in right before the rain came back and killed the awesome weather.  She is running her FULL MARATHON this weekend and I know she will do awesome.  Twinnie and I will be there to support her with our home made posters like usual.  Can't wait!!

Ok, not much else to update with, so song for tonight...

One and Only ~ Adele
"One And Only"

You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
lose myself in time just thinking of your face
God only knows why it's taking me so long
to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never try to forget your past
And simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worth it to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance

To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts

Have I been on your mind?
You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time
At the mention of my name, will I ever know
How it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me which ever road I chose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never tried to forgive your past
And simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance

To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've earned it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart
(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've earned it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worth it to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance

To prove I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
Come and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Lunest....zzzzzz

See, I'd like to finish that blog title up there.  But my medication (Lunesta) for sleep is making me so damn tired during the day that I can barely function.  Turns out getting a good nights sleep is much harder than they make it sound like it should be.  Fucking sheep, they never help.  Sometimes alcohol works...but we all know that's not a good path for me to be taking.  I've gone to the gym, I've quieted the house for time before, I've attempted nothing but sleeping in bed....all to no avail.  SUPER LAME is what I say to that.  So, I'm going off this medication since it's only helping 1/2 the problem and totally creating another one altogether that I'd like to not have.  Hello doctor lady, it's hard enough for me to be up during the day as it is.  If I'm passing out by about 8pm then what is the point of wanting to be a night nurse.  That won't work!
So, tomorrow is my last final and it's in OB.  I should do pretty well on this one as it's my area of interest and I actually pay attention really well in this class.  However, it is the last final and my brain is immensely fried from the previous two that I've already taken.  UGH!  But like I've said before, I am so glad this semester is done.  Still waiting of course to hear about my preceptorship, but just trying to be patient on that one.  Ok, no song today, my favorites are still in my head!
Happy Wednesday people.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Much Needed

Well I'm into finals week finally.  Can't believe this semester is finally over.  It has felt like it has taken forever.  I really feel like I enjoyed quarters at UW much better than I am enjoying semesters at PLU.  Semesters just take to frigging long people, seriously.  Oh well, finals are done by Thursday so I am almost there.  It's also my birthday week which means barbecue on Saturday.  I was hoping to get my new tattoos prior to the BBQ but my artist is booked up (plus there is a cash shortage at the moment), so I will have to put that on hold for now.  Also, if I'm starting my preceptor-ship soon, I'd rather not go into it with any kind of a deficit (which is how some hospitals are viewing tattoos these days).  Bummer!
I am still waiting to hear where I will be interning for the summer.  We've been told we might not know until just before the semester starts, which really sucks.  Sort of hard to plan for anything when you don't know what your schedule might be and you have no idea when you'll be "working" or not.  About half of our class already knows which just makes me more anxious to find out where I am going to be.  I'm fairly certain I did NOT get St. Joe's labor and delivery as the Franciscan positions have already been announced-which really bums me out.  But I've decided to take the positive approach which is that I will end up wherever I am meant to be.  I guess wherever I end up just might need my skills and will increase my education all that much more.
I sang for the first time ever on stage this weekend.  My friend, Megan, played guitar while I sang (into a microphone no less) for the first time ever and did really well.  I was even complimented more than once, despite having started off somewhat shakey and extremely nervous.  So with that in mind, the next song I'd like to sing is this one...I can even change the lyrics to a female/male persuasion if I'd like to....LOL
Beth~Kiss
Beth, I hear you callin'
But I can't come home right now
Me and the boys are playin'
And we just can't find the sound

Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them callin'
Oh, Beth what can I do
Beth what can I do

You say you feel so empty
That our house just ain't a home
And I'm always somewhere else
And you're always there alone

Just a few more hours
And I'll be right home to you
I think I hear them callin'
Oh, Beth what can I do
Beth what can I do

Beth, I know you're lonely
And I hope you'll be alright
'Cause me and the boys will be playin'
All night