Thursday, December 30, 2010

Made It!

Ok, so after last semester's debacle with my grade point average (being brought down by the hell that is Advanced Pathophysiology) I managed to pull myself out of the slumps and obtain my 3.0 average.  YEAH!  This is extremely good news as my program requires a 3.0 average to stay in the program and I WAS on academic probation.  Naughty naughty girl.  But that's all behind me now and I am moving with the onwards and upwards motion.  January starts my pediatrics rotation and I could not be more excited.  I am working at Madigan and we will actually get to do a NICU rotation which is very exciting.  January also starts my half marathon training up yet again.  Because of my appendix surgery last year I did not get to run in the NODM but am going to do it this year alongside my best friend (and excellent runner) Tiffany who will be running her first full marathon.  Pretty exciting and motivating stuff if you ask me, we are totally going to rock it.  Hopefully we can get some good supporters out there this year as well and maybe stay in the super nice super huge house in Sequim again (although preferably without any drama this time around).
Like many others do at the end of the year I take a moment or two to reflect on the ups and downs of the year.  Oh wait, isn't that how life is though, up and down.  I swear if life didn't feel like a roller coaster I would sometimes wonder what ride I was on and where I could get off!  Things I wouldn't trade anything in the world for this year: hearing Frances say Auntie Meems and giggle as I tickle her and play with her, Niko wrapping his arms around my neck and snuggling close with me while he says I love you, Devan playing awesome defense on the soccer field and proving herself every bit my niece with her one two punch with her BFF Kara, my sister and mother-my truest family in every sense of the word, my health-learning lifestyles over and over again constantly proving that I can change and I can evolve, and of course KJ and my adopted family (i.e. friends).  Could not make it through without all of those things.
Ok, so on another note, those of you that notice (and care) can see that I am posting at 148ish in the morning.  Guess who didn't fill her sleep medication refill today-that's right, ME!  Insomnia really sucks, but I'm sure I've mentioned that before.  Here's to a new year!!

And because I love her, Pink-Fuckin' Perfect
"Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood
Miss “no way it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I’m still around…
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me
You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you same
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me
The world stares while i swallow the fear
The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?
Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, fuckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you’re fuckin’ perfect, to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect
Pretty, pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less then, fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you’re fucking perfect to me"

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Tis the Season

Gather round little kiddies, I'm going to tell you a holiday tale...well not likely but it will be a tale nonetheless holiday or no.  Today, well today is the last day before I have four days of finals.  That's right, Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs I am finalling it up for my fall semester.  I have loved this semester!  It has had its ups and downs, as they all do I am sure, however I loved mental health nursing (really, does that surprise anyone) and I have really enjoyed my medical surgical rotation on the oncology unit!  It is nice to know that no matter how I do with test taking in the nursing program (which seems to be not as well as my normally brainy self does), I do very well clinically and provide excellent patient care.  That's what matters right?  Things I have done this semester that I am excited about:  gave medications safely-oral/rectal/subcutaneously/intramuscularly/and via IV pushes, I changed briefs on a woman who was on comfort care in her last days of life-spending time with her while I fed her one of her last meals, discussing hospice care with a patient's wife and then additionally with that patient, visiting with a patient on my off hours, having a woman want to adopt me as her foster granddaughter, giving oxygen, doing a full assessment, admitting someone to our floor, working with a client in mental health who on my last day came out to me as being bisexual, having a patient tell me he uses marijuana on a daily basis, inserting a catheter on a male client, and being with a client who the next day had a "celestial discharge" as they call it (she passed away).  I think of how much my life has been improved and expanded because of all of these experiences.  And then I think, how lucky am I to have my health, to have the health of Kerry my wonderful wife, my friends and family.  How lucky my Aunt is that although she has breast cancer she is fighting, that organizations with free care for cancer exist, and she is getting what she needs.
I sat today and read all of the Christmas cards we have received so far.  How blessed that we have so many friends and family that care enough about us to send us cards.  To know that we are thought of during their busy holiday seasons.  Truly it is times like these that remind me no matter what life may throw at us, or what kinds of challenges we may be facing, we are still rich in spirit with love of friends and family.  Even sometimes when blessed with new friends-my cohort in the nursing school.  I love those guys.  We get along so well, even when at times we want to kill each other.  The 17 of us will always be a family of sorts, and at least a few of them will be new lifelong friends I have no doubt.
So at times like this, I just want everyone to know I love them, and am blessed to have you all in my life.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas"

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on, 
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years 
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.