The trip was also sad in some ways. The campgrounds are much busier than they used to be when we were kids. I missed having my best friend with me, and remembering all the crazy things we would do while up there. But while the sun was shining and I was on the water looking at the snow covered mountain, all I could remember was rowing out to the middle with me and my BFF, books in hands, shades on (because as always we're too cool for school) and once we were set, we'd lay in the boat and read, floating to and fro with no particular destination in mind. How serene and unreal it seems in hindsight to remember having that little responsibility, when everything drifted away and you could just float. I don't think we can ever get that sort of peace back....but I definitely mean to try from time to time. Saturday night, at pretty late dusk, I walked down to the restroom and out to the boat dock and just looked up at the mountain in night, the moon nowhere to be seen, but a sort of light shining on the water anyway (perhaps the reflection of the snow on the mountain). And me, being me, for no particular reason, I just started crying. A huge emotional well just tapped inside of me and I just let it flow. Some things cannot be undone, and other things cannot be unlearned....but that's just a part of life. How we choose to live after the fact, that's what matters.
One more final tomorrow, one more day of clinicals at the nursing home and then I'm free for this semester...well sort of. Surgery taking place this Thursday, so several more weeks of healing ahead of me. I guess as usual, I've done this before and will do it again (the surgery/recovery/healing thing that is). Well back to studying for the night.
I am going away for a while