Saturday, August 28, 2010

One week check in...

Well Thursday was one week post surgery, and I'm feeling pretty good.  Well I was feeling pretty good until I got up this morning and felt like I had been run over and didn't want to move.  I figured this was just because we took the kids to the Mariner's game last night and I traveled up and down many more flights of stairs than I have been on in some time.  However, after going back to sleep for several hours and waking up just in time for the storm game (who won, yeah, go team) I realized this was more than just a simple matter of being sore.  Sooo I spent most of the day on the couch, sleeping, waking up every now and again to change positions or to listen to the cats whining at me.  I'm not feeling as horrible now, but still not feeling 100% (well in reference to post surgery 100% anyway).
So, band is now removed.  My body, in healing mode, is back to the way as nature intended it.  Well minus an appendix that is.  I can't wait until I am fully healed and can hit it back in the gym.  Our school schedule looks like it will allow for some more personal time, although that might be my own misconception as it just looks like less in class time.  We start off right away with clinicals so that will of course take up some time.  Looks like I start with my psych rotation and midway through the semester we move over to med/surg.  I can't wait!
Alright, short post, no song to post as I've been  laid up all day.  See you on the flip side....

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Surgery #3

Well tomorrow's the day, surgery # 3 in two years total.  Getting my band removed for those of you who didn't know, and if you didn't-come on  now, you haven't really been paying attention now have you.  I'm nervous and apprehensive, for some reason I just feel like more things could go wrong with this surgery than the other ones.  I'm very paranoid that he will have to switch from a laparascopic surgery to an open one, which would super suck as it's at least twice as long for recovery, AND who wants a huge ass scar running down their middle.  Well on second thought, it would just add to the 8 scars I already have on my belly anyway.  Who cares, right?!?  Speaking of, my scar from the appendectomy where the trocar (shown here)
got caught in my abdominal muscles, well it's still pretty pink, so kind of lame to already be having another surgery when one scar hasn't quite healed from the last one.  Oh well, it is what it is, right!  Onwards and upwards as I tell my fellow classmates after they have had a pretty rough test or what not.  Oh speaking of classmates, I got my clinical review done by my instructor on tuesday and guess who did awesome-ME!  She really hopes I will reconsider working with the elder adult population as she really thinks I have a gift.  That was a pretty big honor for me to hear and definitely made me feel good.  Nice to know after having a shit-tastic experience in advanced pathophysiology that I am still doing good and learning the important skills I need to know.  So, it's about 2320, and after midnight I can have nothing to eat or drink.  I'm going to go play the Wii for some relaxation (and to help my brain shut off).  Hopefully I can make that work anyway.  Lots of love to you from me.  See you on the post surgery (heavily medicated) flip side.
Tonight's song dedication going out to my lovely wife, who I sang this song to the radio on tonight.

"If I Ever Fall In love Again"~Shai
Shai, comin' right back at ya baby...
If I ever fall in love again,
next time the lady will be... just... like you

The very first time that I saw your brown eyes
Your lips said "hello" and I said hi
I knew right then you were the one
But I was caught up in physical attraction
But to my satisfaction
Baby you were more than just a face

And if I ever fall in love again
I will be sure that the lady is a friend
and if I ever fall in love so true
I will be sure that the lady's just like you

Ooooh yeah.... the very next time she'll be my friend

If I say that I could be your one and only
Promise, that you'll never leave me lonely
I just wanna be the one you need
Oh Baby
I just wanna be the one to serve you
Sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve you
I cherish every moment that we share

And if I ever fall in love again
I will be sure that the lady is a friend
and if I ever fall in love so true
I will be sure that the lady's just like you

hey baby i made a promise, the next time I fell in love,
my love would also be my friend..
somebody who'll be there for me through thick and thin...
to love me, to hold me, comfort me.
Somebody who would be there with me all through the night.
(somebody just like you)

My friend, the very next time she will be my friend
someone who I can believe in
My friend, the very next time she will be my friend

My friend, the very next time she will be my friend
someone who I can believe in
The very next time she will be my friend

And if I ever fall in love again
I will be sure that the lady is a friend
and if I ever fall in love so true
I will be sure that the lady's just like you 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Takhlakh Lake

Back from a weekend at Takhlakh lake with my mom and godmother Pam.  So many things to say about this trip.  The weather was good.  I got some studying done (which was somewhat difficult as it was windy the first evening and the whole next day).  But I did get in a couple hikes around the lake and a swimming excursion with my mom.  That in and of itself was hilarious as watching my mom get up on her air mattress was pretty entertaining.  Also, forgot how cold the water is, it always is to start with, but the body always acclimates and once I was up on the tube I was loving life.  I forget from time to time how much I love being in the water.
The trip was also sad in some ways.  The campgrounds are much busier than they used to be when we were kids.  I missed having my best friend with me, and remembering all the crazy things we would do while up there. But while the sun was shining and I was on the water looking at the snow covered mountain, all I could remember was rowing out to the middle with me and my BFF, books in hands, shades on (because as always we're too cool for school) and once we were set, we'd lay in the boat and read, floating to and fro with no particular destination in mind.  How serene and unreal it seems in hindsight to remember having that little responsibility, when everything drifted away and you could just float.  I don't think we can ever get that sort of peace back....but I definitely mean to try from time to time.  Saturday night, at pretty late dusk, I walked down to the restroom and out to the boat dock and just looked up at the mountain in night, the moon nowhere to be seen, but a sort of light shining on the water anyway (perhaps the reflection of the snow on the mountain).  And me, being me, for no particular reason, I just started crying.  A huge emotional well just tapped inside of me and I just let it flow.  Some things cannot be undone, and other things cannot be unlearned....but that's just a part of life.  How we choose to live after the fact, that's what matters.
One more final tomorrow, one more day of clinicals at the nursing home and then I'm free for this semester...well sort of.  Surgery taking place this Thursday, so several more weeks of healing ahead of me.  I guess as usual, I've done this before and will do it again (the surgery/recovery/healing thing that is).  Well back to studying for the night.

"Misguided Ghosts"~Paramore
I am going away for a while 
But I'll be back don't try and follow me 
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible 
See I'm trying to find my place 
And it might not be here where I feel safe 
We all learn to make mistakes 

And run from them, from them 
With no direction 
We'll run from them, from them 
With no conviction 

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts 
Traveling endlessly 
Don't need no roads 
In fact they follow me 
And we just go in circles 

Now I'm told that this is life 
And pain is just a simple compromise 
So we can get what we want out of it 
Would someone care to classify 
Our broken hearts and twisted minds 
So I can find someone to rely on 

And run to them, to them 
Full speed ahead 
Oh you are not useless 
We are just 

Misguided ghosts 
Traveling endlessly 
The ones we trusted the most 
Pushed us far away 

And there's no one road 
We should not be the same 
But I'm just a ghost 
And still they echo me 

They echo me in circles

Monday, August 09, 2010

Finally Done Done Done!

Advanced pathophysiology is finally done.  I can't even begin to express my happiness as to this class being complete.  I don't even care if I didn't do very well on the final today, I will still end up with at least a C in the class, and not to sound like an underachiever, but I am seriously ok with that in this class.  I have an A in all the other classes (am in fact enjoying my clinical experience more than I expected to), but hey, we all have strong points and weak points.  Apparently Professor Dolan's methods of teaching and my methods of learning, totally not on the same page.
So today in lab we did tracheotomy care.  It was awesome.  Learned about suctioning and cleaning and worked more on sterile technique.  We have eureka day on Friday which means we'll be doing another simulation to test our technique.  I actually am really enjoying classes these days,  I mean aside from pathophys.  This makes me happy since I am paying a lot for school and this is supposed to be my happy career change....and I think it really will be.  I am going to be an awesome nurse!
xoxo everyone
No song today!!

Sunday, August 01, 2010


Yeah, that's what I should be doing.  But good god, when did I ever do what I should do and not what I wanted to do.  Maybe it would serve me better if I learned to do the things I should do.  Ha ha.   Two and a half more weeks to go until the end of the semester and it couldn't come at a better time.  I am about drained people, seriously!  Amazingly enough my brain feels more full than it has ever felt before and I am pretty sure that my retention rate is dropping by the minute.  I think I keep telling Kerry (and likely everyone else) the same stories over and over again.  (So if this applies to you, sorry in advance, or I guess not in advance).
So doctor's visit again on Wednesday, hopefully will find out when surgery to remove the lapband will be taking place.  I am hoping for just after the end of the semester, August 18th or 19th.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Ok this started as a really great post, but as usual in all things....I got distracted.  LOL.

The Last Song-Rihanna

Here we are
midair off of the cliff
staring down at the end again
but then again maybe we're finally
on the road that's heading away from all your complaining
of hearing the same song but baby we'll hear it when i'm gone

it's time to turn on the last song
the last song

What if you wasted love and our love in time disappeared and the sad song ends up being the last song you'll ever hear
it was ours
but I'd do it again holding hands with my friend again
but then again maybe we gave our all a song we'll never forget
maybe let them play it maybe it'll save the world
they gonna miss hearing it when it's gone

but it's time to turn up the last song
the last song

what if we left every moment that we could spare and the perfect song will end up being the last song you'll ever hear
you'll never know when the songs gonna play the last song you'll hear is the one you made this song was beautiful that's why I started singing it
but this song is our song is playing until the end even if the last song

the last song
the last song
What if you wasted love and our love in time disappeared and the perfect song ends up being the last song you'll ever hear