Thursday, December 30, 2010

Made It!

Ok, so after last semester's debacle with my grade point average (being brought down by the hell that is Advanced Pathophysiology) I managed to pull myself out of the slumps and obtain my 3.0 average.  YEAH!  This is extremely good news as my program requires a 3.0 average to stay in the program and I WAS on academic probation.  Naughty naughty girl.  But that's all behind me now and I am moving with the onwards and upwards motion.  January starts my pediatrics rotation and I could not be more excited.  I am working at Madigan and we will actually get to do a NICU rotation which is very exciting.  January also starts my half marathon training up yet again.  Because of my appendix surgery last year I did not get to run in the NODM but am going to do it this year alongside my best friend (and excellent runner) Tiffany who will be running her first full marathon.  Pretty exciting and motivating stuff if you ask me, we are totally going to rock it.  Hopefully we can get some good supporters out there this year as well and maybe stay in the super nice super huge house in Sequim again (although preferably without any drama this time around).
Like many others do at the end of the year I take a moment or two to reflect on the ups and downs of the year.  Oh wait, isn't that how life is though, up and down.  I swear if life didn't feel like a roller coaster I would sometimes wonder what ride I was on and where I could get off!  Things I wouldn't trade anything in the world for this year: hearing Frances say Auntie Meems and giggle as I tickle her and play with her, Niko wrapping his arms around my neck and snuggling close with me while he says I love you, Devan playing awesome defense on the soccer field and proving herself every bit my niece with her one two punch with her BFF Kara, my sister and mother-my truest family in every sense of the word, my health-learning lifestyles over and over again constantly proving that I can change and I can evolve, and of course KJ and my adopted family (i.e. friends).  Could not make it through without all of those things.
Ok, so on another note, those of you that notice (and care) can see that I am posting at 148ish in the morning.  Guess who didn't fill her sleep medication refill today-that's right, ME!  Insomnia really sucks, but I'm sure I've mentioned that before.  Here's to a new year!!

And because I love her, Pink-Fuckin' Perfect
"Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood
Miss “no way it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Always second guessing
Look, I’m still around…
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me
You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you same
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re fuckin’ perfect to me
The world stares while i swallow the fear
The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?
Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, fuckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you’re fuckin’ perfect, to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect
Pretty, pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less then, fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you’re fucking perfect to me"

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Tis the Season

Gather round little kiddies, I'm going to tell you a holiday tale...well not likely but it will be a tale nonetheless holiday or no.  Today, well today is the last day before I have four days of finals.  That's right, Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs I am finalling it up for my fall semester.  I have loved this semester!  It has had its ups and downs, as they all do I am sure, however I loved mental health nursing (really, does that surprise anyone) and I have really enjoyed my medical surgical rotation on the oncology unit!  It is nice to know that no matter how I do with test taking in the nursing program (which seems to be not as well as my normally brainy self does), I do very well clinically and provide excellent patient care.  That's what matters right?  Things I have done this semester that I am excited about:  gave medications safely-oral/rectal/subcutaneously/intramuscularly/and via IV pushes, I changed briefs on a woman who was on comfort care in her last days of life-spending time with her while I fed her one of her last meals, discussing hospice care with a patient's wife and then additionally with that patient, visiting with a patient on my off hours, having a woman want to adopt me as her foster granddaughter, giving oxygen, doing a full assessment, admitting someone to our floor, working with a client in mental health who on my last day came out to me as being bisexual, having a patient tell me he uses marijuana on a daily basis, inserting a catheter on a male client, and being with a client who the next day had a "celestial discharge" as they call it (she passed away).  I think of how much my life has been improved and expanded because of all of these experiences.  And then I think, how lucky am I to have my health, to have the health of Kerry my wonderful wife, my friends and family.  How lucky my Aunt is that although she has breast cancer she is fighting, that organizations with free care for cancer exist, and she is getting what she needs.
I sat today and read all of the Christmas cards we have received so far.  How blessed that we have so many friends and family that care enough about us to send us cards.  To know that we are thought of during their busy holiday seasons.  Truly it is times like these that remind me no matter what life may throw at us, or what kinds of challenges we may be facing, we are still rich in spirit with love of friends and family.  Even sometimes when blessed with new friends-my cohort in the nursing school.  I love those guys.  We get along so well, even when at times we want to kill each other.  The 17 of us will always be a family of sorts, and at least a few of them will be new lifelong friends I have no doubt.
So at times like this, I just want everyone to know I love them, and am blessed to have you all in my life.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas"

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on, 
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years 
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.  

Sunday, November 07, 2010

These Violent Delights...

Been doing a lot of reading lately.  Both for school and for my own personal enrichment.  Now, I know those of you that know me might be confused-reading for enrichment?  How enriching can a medieval romance novel be?  Ah, but yet, bear with me.  I have been reading non-fiction.  See, shock and amazement should be oozing out of you now.  If it's not, you should seriously check your pits, is it there?  See..I told you it was.
Started my second half of clinical for this semester.  I'm at good samaritan hospital on the oncology unit.  I love it so far.  I have had pretty good patients, even if almost all of them are on precautions and I have to gown/glove/mask up every time I come into or leave their room.  I had my rotation in the OR (that's operating room for those of you that will ask me later) and was lucky enough to only witness on surgery.  It was called a proximal femur nailing, and if that title doesn't frighten you then the procedure should.  Let's just put it this way, you don't want to know what kind of positions/postures/yoga they are putting you into when they are doing surgery.  In fact, makes me wonder what kind of weird positions I've been in for my surgeries...likely different since I wasn't on a traction table. Although funny story, they are prepping for surgery the surgeon actually says, "we have a code brown here".  Yeah, it means what you think it does, and yes the nurse faithfully cleaned up the patient (found out this is likely due to the sedatives used prior to surgery).  Awww yummy the joys of nursing.  I'm sure there will be plenty more to come.  I also managed to give a woman a backrub, which although it sounds very weird, actually is within the scope of my practice to do.  Next week I'll get checked off on safe drug administration, can't wait!
Celebrating our four year anniversary this week.  Happy Anniversary to my wonderful Kerry and myself!  It's had it's ups and downs but wouldn't change it for a thing.
Sitting for my CNA test on November 27th, so everyone keep their fingers crossed for that.  Hopefully will have a job lined up before winter break starts!

Bang Bang~Melanie Fiona

Finger on the trigger
Let it bang bang, baby let it bang
I don’t give a damn Cause I’m a rebel kind
Watch me do my thang

Let me introduce you to my Lucy
I don’t care if you like me
(I’ll walk it out on ‘em)
Running from the law
I’ll hit the borderline
They trying to trap me
So let’s get down baby

I’ll be locking and loading
I’ll be shooting forever
Got my eye on the target
And I’m aiming at you
See me moving in silence
Feel destruction and violence
Got my eye on the target
And I’m aiming at you

Bang, Bang (I’m aiming at you)
Bang, Bang (I’m aiming at you)

Ain’t nothing like the feeling of that cold cold metal in my hand
Know I sound psycho, Daddy-o, you’ll never understand
Let me introduce you my chrome-plated bullet
She shining
(I’ll whip it out on ‘em)
Understand my ’45 chevy ride scraping the highway
Top down, pick it up

I’ll be locking and loading
I’ll be shooting forever
Got my eye on the target
And I’m aiming at you
See me moving in silence
Feel destruction and violence
Got my eye on the target
And I’m aiming at you

Bang, Bang (I’m aiming at you)
Bang, Bang (I’m aiming at you)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Change Again

Ok so apparently there was some kind of formatting error with the last design layout I had on here, which was not allowing people to comment (which as we bloggers know is super depressing to not have any comments on your blog).  So...a new blog background yet again=check.  Homework complete=not checked.  LOL  Kidding people, kidding.  But hey, it takes a lot of effort to pick a format you really like for your blog and I like to change mine pretty frequently.  Go figure!

More posts later....

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Emotional Much?!?

"You can make your life what you want it to be, you just have to decide to do it."~Burgandy (Biggest Loser-Current Season).  She was the person voted off this week.  I watched this week's episode and kept bawling, can you say emotional much?!?  Hence the title, duh.  I had my first workout with my trainer this week, forgot how much I missed working out with a trainer.  It's so much easier to not push yourself when you are doing weights, to say well I can only do a 5lb dumbbell, well harder to tell somebody you can't do a 10lb dumbbell when she just puts in your hands.  Then that's like admitting defeat before you've already started, which I absolutely refuse to do.  We started off the workout with ropes, which if you've never worked with before, holy shit!  I only had to do one minute intervals with pounding these ropes up and down like a drum beat, but it sure felt like I was beating the crap out of my arms.  Bri's description of why we do these first, to burn out all the smaller muscles first so that we can easily keep working on the bigger muscles.  Well it definitely worked.  Last night before going to bed, I wasn't sure I could turn over in my sleep if I wanted to.  Speaking of sleep, I apparently couldn't do that either, as I was out of my nighttime medications and had too hard of a time getting any sleep at all.  LAME!
I have a new long term goal that I think will be a positive one.  I want to do a four week vacation at the Biggest Loser Fitness Camp, at a current price of $8000, this is definitely a long term goal.  But I will get there.  Four weeks, focusing on my health and fitness, helpfully leading to a better more happy more healthy life...I think it's a good goal to have.  My first week of biggest loser competition sees me down about 4 lbs total, I thought it was 6 lbs, but after weight training last night I think I'm retaining a little bit of water.  As my trainer says, it's not all about the scale, it's about the body fat percentage.   And since my BFF Tiffany posted her body fat percentage, I will go ahead and post mine, it's 41%.  I"m happy that I'm less than half body fat, but still have a ways to go.  The goal is 26%, so that's 15% more body fat that I have to drop, and I will do it.  Because I am in the mental place to do it.  I am not sitting in my classes learning how much being obese effects every likelihood of you developing pretty much every scary disease and not doing something about it.  I will become different.  I'm someone who has always enjoyed working out, I like team sports (of course soccer) and I like working out in the gym...working out is not my problem.  My problem is that I love food, all kinds, all sorts of unhealthy stuff.  BUT, that being said, my trainer says 90% of the equation for me is going to be the food.  So, no more excuses, food is fuel only.  It's not fun emotional pleasure center fulfilling candy, it's just fuel, to make me be alive, nothing more.

"Not Afraid"~Eminem
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)

[Intro (during Chorus):]
Yeah, it's been a ride
I guess I had to, go to that place, to get to this one
Now some of you, might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there

You could try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em
Cause ain't no way I'ma let you stop me from causin mayhem
When I say I'ma do somethin I do it,
I don't give a damn what you think,
I'm doin this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if it thinks it's stoppin me
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony
No if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he
From "Infinite" down to the last "Relapse" album
he's still shittin, whether he's on salary paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he's got the urge
to pull his dick from the dirt, and fuck the whole universe


Okay quit playin with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth, for that
Fuck your feelings, instead of gettin crowned you're gettin capped
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let's be honest, that last "Relapse" CD was ehhh
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain't goin back to that now
All I'm tryin to say is get back, click-clack, blaow
Cause I ain't playin around
It's a game called circle and I don't know how, I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still tryin to figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't, this fuckin black cloud
still follows, me around but it's time to exorcise these demons
These muh'fuckers are doin jumpin jacks now!


And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now! (now)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally
for you, so I could come back a brand new me you helped see me through
And don't even realize what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
my world, haters can make like bees with no stingers
and drop dead, no more beef flingers
No more drama from now on, I promise
to focus solely on handlin my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof, like my daughters
and raise it, you couldn't lift a single shingle on it!
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar
I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazin at stars
I feel amazing and I'm

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

It's New

I changed the blog background.  You know, probably for the 40th out of 400th time.  Can't fall into complacency about how the blog looks you know, that would just be lazy.  Lazy...yeah something I'm trying to avoid being these days.  Am proud/happy to say that I have been on track with the working out since I started at the gym and that is a very exciting thing.  Also, the gym had the biggest loser kickoff last night and I am glad to say I was neither the biggest person there nor the least in shape by any means.  Now, if this stupid sinus infection would go away I could just get on track that much quicker!  My last post...I'm not going to was a case of the feel sorry for myselfness.  No more, that's no good and is doing nobody any good (I'm pretty sure that's horrible grammar but I like it anyway).  Onwards and upwards (or on to the next as they say on ghost hunters)!
So, I also got my meal plan today.  If you follow me on facebook you already know since I posted, that it's a boring diet, but totally doable and I will get it done.  This one is for the competition only, so it's a "diet" for six weeks, then we'll work on my everyday meal plan which will be somewhat different.  This one has about, oh I don't know, 8 things total on it.  Woohoo!
Down to my last three weeks at Western State, which actually makes me a little sad.  Mostly for the fact that I know that my next rotation has the scary teacher Christina and she requires so much more than my current teacher.  LOL.  Oh wait, not being lazy right, so bring it on!  I also am signing up to get my CNA certification because seriously, need a job here people.
Ok, back to being productive, gotta go.  Oh yeah, and the song I heard today, kind of random, but here you go (bonus points to you if you know what movie it's in):
"Cry Little Sister"
A last fire will rise behind those eyes
Black house will rock, blind boys don't lie
Immortal fear, that voice so clear
Through broken walls, that scream I hear

Cry, little sister - Thou shall not fall
Come to your brother - Thou shall not die
Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear
Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill

Blue masquerade, strangers look on
When will they learn this loneliness?
Temptation heat beats like a drum
Deep in your veins, I will not lie

Little sister - Thou shall not fall
Come to your brother - Thou shall not die
Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear
Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill

My Shangri-Las
I can't forget
Why you were mine
I need you now

Cry, little sister - Thou shall not fall
Come to your brother - Thou shall not die
Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear
Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill

Thursday, September 30, 2010

About a Week of Course

It's been about a week of course, so the welling up of random shit that I have to say has come out yet again and I take to my blog, as I usually do, to lay it all down in writing for those of you who read this to actually see.  Amazing that it's 11 at night, I have to be up at 5am to head over to Western State Hospital for my clinical, but I can't seem to fall asleep.  Medications all taken of course, but there are nights (like tonight) where I'm pretty sure I could take a big dose of thorazine and still not fall asleep.  I started back at the gym this week, joined a new one, VisionQuest Sports & Fitness.  They had a great deal going, only 15 bucks a month, so I couldn't pass that up.  I happened to join (or was lucky enough to join) right before they started their next biggest loser challenge on October 5th...and of course being the competitive person I am, I decided to participate.  It's a six week gig, where I will have 6 training sessions, a customized meal plan, and the opportunity to win 500 bucks.  Hell, that money alone is a pretty good incentive, right?  And I want to do it, I'm in the mindset, with a good attitude about things, and loving my time back in the gym.  I forgot how much I missed weight training when I had stopped doing it.  I can't say it's quite the stress/anger release that soccer is, but it comes pretty close.
But on that other side of things, the side of me that I like to ignore or just simply pretend doesn't exist, there is fear.  Fear of what you may ask, so I will tell you.  I fear failure.  Like the black death, or bleeding through a pair of khaki pants during my period and nobody telling me, or losing all of my teeth and having to gum my food to eat it.  Fear of failure is a crippling thing, so much so that half the time it prevents me from even trying.  Why bother, it won't work, you'll never get through it, you'll never accomplish that.  Those are the negative self doubt things that go through my mind when I want to set myself a new goal, reach out for a new prize, leave the past behind me.  I haven't always been this way mind you, I'm almost wondering if this is a post surgical negativity descending on me in some ways, either that or it's my ptsd as it relates to being raped and abused this summer during my patho-physiology course.  It has definitely spilled over into my nursing school experience in general in the sense of fear of, oh shit, what if I don't make it?!?
I often question people about how they see me, or if they believe in me.  Kerry tells me this is a pathological need I am trying to fulfill because I can't/don't believe in myself most of the time.  I think she's right....stupid smarty mcsmarterton.  (J/K baby)  I don't imagine spending at least 16 hours a week around people who are in therapy all the time, being medicated, and constantly evaluating and re-evaluating their lives is helping much at the fact now that I type that I'm pretty sure it's weighing on me more than I realized, go figure.  Another thing I tell Kerry, I have to spend so much time discussing and re-discussing my feelings with people (or myself) just so I can try to figure out where that feeling was coming from.  It's very bizarre.
And speaking of bizarre, I don't even remember why I wanted to write this post in the first place...tune in tokyo...does anybody else get it?  Oh yeah that's right, checking in, or checking out as the case may be.  Gotta run, there are a few more games of bejeweled blitz calling my name on facebook people.
Leave you with a little xtina for the night...
"Stronger Than Ever"

What you gave me, I know you gave me
You remind me all the time
And how you hurt me and you don’t see it
Again, I am the child
And though you tell me that you love me
I can’t feel it and I’m afraid to let you down
It’s all or nothing, I fear that something’s wrong

I’m tired of walking on eggshells, so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I’ve abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you pushed me away
I’m stronger than ever, you made me this way

How I wish you, you suffered less too
It tears us both apart
And it’s not pretty, the way you criticize me
And how it breaks my heart

And though you tell me that you love me
I can’t feel it and I’m afraid to let you down
It’s all or nothing, I fear that something’s wrong

I’m tired of walking on eggshells, so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I’ve abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you pushed me away
I’m stronger than ever, you made me this way

How I wish you knew, how much I need you
I feel like running but I can’t abandon you
You avoid my gaze, withdraw from me these days
You punish me for trying to be all that you wanted
What more can I do?

I’m tired of walking on eggshells, so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I’ve abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you pushed me away
I’m stronger than ever, you made me this way

I’m tired of walking on eggshells, so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I’ve abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you pushed me away
I’m stronger than ever, you made me this way 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

See me as a person

Well, week three of clinical at Western State Hospital almost completed.  Today was a pretty interesting time.  My partner and I got to spend some time on one of the admitting wards.  This is where patients may be coming from jail to have their competency evaluated (you know, as in whether or not they are competent to stand trial) or to have their competency restored (to get them medicated and/or through a level of therapy so that they can be competent to stand trial).  We got to sit in on an admission with a patient who very obviously suffered from schizophrenia with paranoia tendencies.  In discussion with the doctor after the admission interview I was able to learn that making them competent to stand trial does not necessarily mean they are symptom free.  The gentleman we spoke with today suffers from delusions, but he can tell right from wrong and is able to be coherent to time place and person.  Doctor thinks he already is competent to stand trial, and admittedly he is sticking with his medication routine (which is very hard to have done when they get sent back to jail apparently). The more time we spend there we learn more and more about how the justice system really fucks with those that are truly severely mentally ill, how they can spend long periods of times being evaluated only to never possibly stand trial, be sent out into the community with little to no resources (lack of funding don't you know) and with some of them highly likely to not stay on their meds....sometimes it is no wonder they re-offend.  Now, I am in no way shape or form condoning unlawful behavior by any stretch of the imagination, but sometimes there are truly people who have such a high degree of mental illness that they have no idea.  I have seen these people suffering their sentences through therapy and medication, understanding now, only when it is too late, what they have done.  I wish the system could have helped them sooner.
No song to leave with today, kind of a serious subject I suppose.  But two quotes, one of which I do not know the author of but I have often seen at one of my medical clinics "See me not as a mental illness, but first as a person".
From Ever After, 1998, "If you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners corrupted from infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them? "

Thursday, September 16, 2010

You know what really grinds my gears?!?

Ok, before I tell you, that's a reference to Family Guy.  If you didn't know that, I thought you should, because I love that show.  Okay, so also in case you didn't know, the Seattle Storm won the WNBA championship tonight.  It was a close but great game.  So of course I post on FB (facebook duh) about how glad I am that they won and it was such an intense game.  So this guy I know from HS, whom I've always thought of as a pretty level headed, pro girls, liberal type of dude posts this:

Grant R Now if the City of Seattle could just get a championship that mattered.

So of course, this just pisses me off.  And various levels of the stupidness comments ensue such as:

That doesn't change the fact that, in the grand scheme of things, the WNBA doesn't really matter as a professional sport.
Oh come you honestly, and objectively, think women athletes are competing at the same level as men?
And I, personally, posted a comment the other day congratulating them after winning game one...but WNBA is not a major sport.
Jaime, they should be compared because women's sports are not nearly as entertaining as men's sports. That's why they aren't (and likely never will be) as popular. That's why they don't matter as much, because people aren't watching them.
d yes, it is the only championship the city has won lately, but if the Rainiers win the PCL championship it won't matter, either. When the Tacoma Stars won a a championship, it didn't matter. Because these sports aren't important on a grand scale.

I want to respect everyone's right to have an opinion, but come on?!?  I should clarify that all of the comments listed here were not from this one person, but also from some of his friends.  Should I point out how many FIFA world cups the women have won and how many the men have NOT?  Or should I talk about other items I see as not entertaining sports....BASEBALL?  Really, nine fucking innings of retardness to have scores like 3-1 and such?  At least we can get scores like that in 90 minutes during soccer, why drag out the agony of this oh so "entertaining" baseball game...

I am a female athlete.  My best friend is a female athlete as are a lot of other friends, and at least one of my nieces (hopefully my other one will be too).  Frances, my youngest niece, is almost 2 years old and I pray to god that she grows up to be an athlete like her mother and me (her aunt)....I don't care if she plays baseball, basketball, or soccer, but that she plays it, enjoys it and has a good time.  And if she grows up to play a sport at a level that some stupid men might say is "not entertaining, not a major sport, not real"....well I will be all the more proud of her.

And in honor of the US Women's Soccer Team, their them song from last year:
"Suddenly I See"

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me