Thursday, May 28, 2009

It was yesterday..

Yesterday was my birthday.  Thank you to all of those who wished me a happy one.  It's funny...sometimes you are surprised by those who care for you and wish you a happy birthday.  And then othertimes you are surprised by those you thought cared...who didn't even say hello/booya/kiss my ass to you on your birthday.  Oh well, I guess yet again it lets you know who really matters in your life and who is just.....absent.
Tiffany & Niko took me out to lunch at BJ's brewery at the tacoma mall.  I picked up Kerry's ring from Jared.  I hung out with Liz at my house while I washed my truck.  Oh that reminds me, cause you all know I love wonderful wife got me a shark mop, some shamwows, some perfume and.....ROCK BAND!!  I am so excited.  We will totally be ready for the white trash party tomorrow night.
I've been updating my music in itunes for the last few days.  Found one of my old cd holders with cd's i'd been looking for forever.  It takes too long to import CD's into itunes, but I am working on it.  I am also taking some music out of my playlist, stuff that reminds me of shit I'd rather not think about or stuff that is just too damned depressing.
I registered for summer classes today.  I am the 2nd person on the waitlist for my A&P class. Hopefully I get in because it's pretty much the last class (along with microbiology) that is required.  Then I can start applying everywhere.  Fingers crossed that I get in somewhere.  Otherwise I'll be working two jobs for awhile until I get in someplace!  Ha ha.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Tattoos and all that shnooz....

Okay so shnooz isn't really a word, but its okay, you'll just have to accept it for now.  I got my tattoos last night up in Bonney Lake at Ink City Tattoo.  I highly recommend my new favorite tattoo artist, a woman named Jayme Jack.  Not that I'm biased, but how cool is it that someone named Jayme did my tatts?  Jenn's fiancee, Brandon, designed my angel and devil them, and then Jayme helped pick out and fill in the colors.  I love them as they incorporate both my naughty and nice (angel and devil) and my typical gemini situation (being of two minds about everything).  
So these tattoos were mostly supposed to be my birthday present, but funny thing.  Yesterday was the one year anniversary since my surgery.  I have had my lapband officially now for one year and am pretty happy with my results.  It's nice to be able to buy some (not all) clothes in regular stores now.  If only I wasn't so freaking tall....
First storm game was on Thursday night (preseason game).  I had my muscle practical so I wasn't able to attend, but Kerry and Liz went out and apparently had a VERY good time.  Ha ha.  So, because I needed something to do....I steam cleaned the rest of the house carpets upstairs.  Now I only have the two spare bedrooms to do.  I LOVE clean carpets.  Oh let's face it, I just like to clean period...and I am okay with that.  
My birthday is on Wednesday, I can't believe how fast time flies.  I am going to be 31 years I feel old.  UGH!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

moon baby

Interesting times around our house these days...but what can you expect.  So much upheaval and change in such a short period of time is bound to makes waves/cause issues/bring about...well change I suppose.  I got a 90% on my last A&P test, which brought my grade high enough to be in the right range for the nursing application for pierce college anyway.  No idea what it needs to be for UW, but I'm pushing it as high as I can.  I'm sitting at a 95% in chemistry right now, which is just fine for me.
Hard workout last night and today, so my abs are so sore that they actually make it hard to feel hungry (i.e. my sore abs somewhat resemble an upset stomach, argh).
Why does someone email you telling you how badly they want to talk to you but they don't know how or what to say?  Isn't that like telling someone you'd like to help them but the freeway to their house is closed....I don't get it.
How do you define what a friend is?  I think sometimes its easier to define what one is not when you can't describe what one is.  I can tell you all kinds of things about why I have friends like Tiffany, Kendra, Shelley, Liz, Keri.  But sometimes I think trying to define friendship is difficult.  I guess its a lot like love in that way, unless you are the one in it and experiencing it, you cannot describe it, and no one else outside of the two people experiencing it fully understand it.  Is that why we then say "they just don't understand"?
I think of these things as my eldest niece is becoming a young woman.  I remember what it was like to be that age and I would give anything to protect her from what I went through or from what her mom went through.  I look at Devan and try to encourage her to do all the things I know she can accomplish, same for Niko.  I look at my peep (Frances) and laugh at her trying to imitate the noises I make with my mouth, knowing that just being around her for a period of time, no matter how brief, can lift my spirits.
I am glad to be alive, truly, and yet at the same time I sort of feel like this (can you name the movie?):
"Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know. Maybe I had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but, there is no man, Gilly. Only that moon"

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Instead of Studying

I've been studying for at least four hours now.  I did that at Starbucks because when I try to study at home, I end up focusing on all the things I can do around the house instead.  That makes it hard to study!  I have my second a&p test tonight and with what I've accomplished so far in studying...I am feeling pretty confident about it.
Mother's day went pretty well.  My mom took several of the big plants out of the backyard and I transplanted the rest of what I wanted to the front yard.  Now the backyard is a soupy dirty mess, and just waiting for us to lay down the foundation to a new deck!  Way to go team.
It's been rough for me since Friday, physically at least (and obviously emotionally as well).  I have been having the cramps of my life (I'm sure you all wanted to know that) and today I woke up with a huge headache that I've had to keep fighting off with drugs.  Maybe it's stress, maybe it's a combination of things...maybe it's life.  Oh well.
Movie/Book Quote time: "I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."  
Yeah, maybe Liz is right, maybe it's a cult.  But I just believe it's a completely moving love story, and the movie does it somewhat limited justice.
Alright, I've got an hour until class starts, so I'm going to finish studying.  I'm glad I decided to take tomorrow off from work, free time for me. 
Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me  As you watch me wander, curse the powers that be  Cause all I want is here and now but its already been and gone  Our intentions always last that bit too long  Far far away, no voices sounding, no one around me and  you're still there  Far far away, no choices passing, no time confounds me and you're still there  In the full moons light I listen to the stream  And in between the silence hear you calling me  But I don't know where I am and I don't trust who I've been  And If I come home how will I ever leave

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Randomness...In all its Finery!

"Your love in all its finery, tear up the darkness all around me, until I can breathe again, until I believe again."
Yes, this post will be pretty random.  So strap in, hold on, and enjoy the ride.  As I've been feeling really random today.  We went to see the Carrie Fisher show at Seattle Rep, "Wishful Drinking", it was pretty much hilarious and there were a few take aways that I thought were funny.  First one: resentment is like drinking poison....and waiting for the other person to die.  Second one-instant gratification takes too long.  I don't know there were a lot of other things too, perhaps I will start writing cf style, with random things to say and lots of funnies to distribute throughout life.  
When someone tells you they wishes they were stronger, what do you do, do you wish them strength, do you tell them to lift weights, what is the answer to that question?!?
When someone asks if it ever bothers you to be so honest with everyone...isn't that like a rhetorical question?!?  Of course it does, because being honest and sharing myself with everyone means that I am open, I am vulnerable, and occasionally I will get hurt because of this.  But my heart heals, as they say "all things heal in time" and my heart I find has only been bruised, not broken.
There is a new option for me as far as the nursing program goes, but I happen to think it a pretty excellent one.  I found out from my meds person on Thursday that the UW offers a nursing entry program for individuals who already have a bachelors degree in another field of study.  It is a 3 year immersion program, which means one more than the RN, and at the end of the program I would come out with my masters in nursing (or my ARNP), both of which are super great degrees and could potentially earn me a lot of money.  Aside from that, as an ARNP I can have my pick of specialties and if eventually I feel like it, can have my own private practice.  Yet another awesome potential.  Oh, and did I mention that ARNP's can prescribe meds....woohoo.  Just kidding.
Next A&P test is on Tuesday.  People, keep your fingers crossed for me pretty please, kay?!?
"I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth Please don't tell me that we had that conversation I won't remember, save your breath, 'cos what's the use? Ah, the night is calling? And it whispers to me softly come and play Ah, I am falling And If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame"