Friday, November 14, 2008

PANIC (not at the disco)

Okay, so last night ended up being a very long night, poor me and even poorer for Kerry because she had to get up earlier than I did. I’m sorry honey! Okay so, we won our soccer game, awesome, 6-2, and I was hustling my ass off. I even had several of the team members telling me how much faster I am running these days, which is cool. So if you saw me play before, I guess you should come see me now, Wambach here I come (someday, if only). Okay so after soccer, 4 of the girls and I went to the Celtic Bayou to celebrate a birthday and of course we like having an excuse to drink, so that was all good. Marcey had to get up the earliest out of us, but I have to drive the farthest, either way we are all tired today that is for sure. Of course, me being me, I also ran out of gas on the way home so I had to stop in Kent for gas, which meant that I got home and hopped into bed around 1 o’clock in the morning. And this would be when the fun times happened. I took my nighttime pill like I always do (the one that helps me pass out w/in a half hour of going to bed and makes my mind stop going going going going….you get the idea). So I’m laying in bed and I’m freezing (hello just played soccer in like 40 degree weather and it was COLD). I’m laying there cuddled up next to Kerry, trying to steal her heat and eventually covering my head with blankets because I’m so cold. I hadn’t actually fallen asleep when I heart a loud noise downstairs. I looked up over the covers, but didn’t see anything, settled back into bed. Well then I hear footsteps on the stairs and I swear someone is in our room. My heart is beating so hard I feel like it will wake Kerry up, I grip her tighter not wanting her to wake up. Hoping that whoever is in there will leave if we don’t wake up. Then I hear steps in our room over to my dresser, and I hear (I swear to god) my jewelry box opening and someone rifling around in it. I am frozen with fear, I cannot move, I continue to listen to this noise, praying they will take whatever they want and just leave us. I wait for what must be at least 10 minutes and finally it sounds like the person is gone. I move around a bit on the bed, trying to see if they will do something if they are still there, trying to figure out if I could still hear them (and when they were in the room it felt like I could hear them breathing). When I finally peek, no one is there. I get up quickly, run to our door (which has no lock) and slam it shut and turn on the lights immediately waking Kerry up. I tell her someone is in the house that something is going on, and I’m crying and hyperventilating. My hands bracing the door, she comes to me and is holding onto me, trying to peel my hands back from the door but I can’t let go. Finally she convinces me to take the phone in the bathroom and lock myself in there while she goes to look (yes I realize its ridiculous that the 5’4” girl has to go check the house while the stronger 5’11” chick hides in the bathroom, but leave me alone). So she comes back upstairs and tells me nothing is out of place and its okay. It then takes her 15 minutes to get me calmed back down enough to go to sleep. That’s right folks, I think last night was my first full blown panic attack. PANIC ATTACK. Seriously it was very real, and even thinking about it now makes me want to hyperventilate a little bit. What was it, maybe a ghost come to visit me in the night to make its presence known. Maybe something was cluing into my thoughts about hoping for a visitor, who knows. Either way, yeah it was freaky. So unrelated, but from my drive home last night, the lyrics: “You used to captivate me, By your resonating light, Now I'm bound by the life you left behind, Your face it haunts, My once pleasant dreams, Your voice it chased away, All the sanity in me” xoxo

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