Sunday, October 12, 2008

Life, uncovered..

well i had my xray on friday morning. found out that i apparently do not have a large leak, but a slow leak. this means its likely that the fluid is leaking out slowly over time. i have an appointment with the doctor (surgeon that is) on thursday to find out what this means as far as getting it fixed. i am not sure what the fix is for a slow leak but i will definitely keep you posted. as i tried to explain this to tiffany and will, will of course had to make the reference to the fact that the lapband creates a type of sphincter within your body and then of course the joke was that i have a leaky sphincter. yummy thought right? ha ha. tiffany's birthday was on the 8th. i decided as part of her birthday celebration week that she should come work out with my trainer with me on saturday. good god, i think he was trying to show her how much he can punish me within one hour. it was hellish, or at least today it feels like someone pounded my body with a meat pulverizer. i already texted tiffany to see how she was doing and yeah...about the same as me. she has to work today and i dont so that is one benefit, although how the hell i am going to force my legs to run at soccer should be interesting to see. i watched my recorded episodes of the biggest loser today. so many of those episodes (and especially conversations between jillian and her people) focus on the fact that many of the people have never taken the time to put themselves first, to care for themselves. i wonder how many of us are just like that, caregivers, ones that are willing to put themselves last for the ones they love? how often have i spent in the last few months trying to determine what i want, what i need, and what will make me most happy. perhaps like so many other things this is harder to do than it seems. what if,the thing that makes us happiest in the world, is caring for those we love. what if caring for the ones you love is taken away from you, then what happens? then perhaps you are forced to focus on taking care of yourself, the best way you can quickly learn how. when i was younger i used to moan and whine about how unfair life is. and it is of course, but it is unfair to pretty much everyone. even people that seem like they have it all, they have problems too. someone who looks like they are in the happiest relationship of their life, you can learn that deep down they harbor secrets they would never tell their partner, fantasies they would never share, and feelings they would try to conceal at all costs. so i think, no matter how unfair life is, we all do our best to bump along and not hurt as many people as we can. love where we can, when we can, to the best of our ability. xoxo-LC PS_LC is soon to be an aunt. I will keep you all posted on the blessed event happening soon!

No comments: