Sunday, October 05, 2008

Crazy Beautiful

so, let's see. didn't get home until 6:30am this morning. now naturally you would think i was out partying, right, those of you who know me know that i am such a big partyer! but of course not, i was helping do inventory at kerry's store and that is what time i got home. ugh. so i did not go to my soccer game, as playing after only about 4 hours of sleep just did not seem appealing to me. so after waking up around 1pm this afternoon i have so far managed to accomplish the following: watch law and order, watch lipstick jungle, watch crouching tiger hidden dragon, balance the checkbook (or not balance it as the case may be) and am now at 5:30pm thinking of going to take a shower. yes i know you are all overwhelmed by my motivation, i know that i am. i am thinking of going to the grocery store soon too, perhaps even making dinner. i think that will cap off my activities for the day. oh, unless i decide to bake cookies, which i am thinking about doing also. thinking....thats a problem for me isnt it. you see, things can seem to be going along just fine but then my mind it just starts to wander and wonder. i think that maybe thats what gets me into half (or more) of the problems i get myself into. does anyone besides me ever wonder if there is another life out there for them, perhaps something else they were meant to be doing? maybe its just me, it likely is, sometimes i feel like i am outside of my own body, i see the things happening around me and yet i feel helpless to stop them. like watching a movie where you cannot control the ending, it just has to happen the way it is supposed to. but what if you know what the ending is but you do not know how to get there, to arrive at that ending in one piece, scarred perhaps, but alive. i dont know people, i am just thinking, too much as usual. "You can be anywhere when your life begins. When the future opens up in front of you. And you may not even realize it at first, but it's already happening." LC

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