Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Baby's Here!

baby Frances Mae has finally arrived. none of us got much sleep but she did arrive at 10:07 this morning. she is gorgeous, and luckily enough its true, i didnt even have to lie just to make her mom feel better. ha ha. she was 8lbs 1 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. she was definitely not a first time crier and screamer that is for sure. i think her nickname right now from me is peep, thats what she sounds like when she cries, a peep. i am not sure why i decided to blog tonight. i am most likely more sensitive than normal and definitely more emotional, so maybe blogging isnt the best idea, but hey, has that ever stopped me before? a couple of different things that i was thinking about in my sleep deprived last couple of days. one) when a pregnant woman delivers a baby does she still feel the child within her womb? is it like what they say about amputee patients, that they feel the missing limb long after it has been removed. or along those lines, what if it is an emotional amputation? remember those first loves of your life, that when the relationships eventually ends (as it always does), but you swear that you can still feel their touch, can still feel the hint of their scent on the breeze, does your heart jump because you think that it is them? is it like that when you suffer the death of a lover, that you think that they are still there, can still feel them. two) do you celebrate the anniversary of "things" ever? not the average normal things that people celebrate like anniversaries or births or deaths, but say the anniversary of starting a diety, the day you got a surgery, or perhaps the first time you did something random? sunday was one of those days for me, an anniversary of an event. and it came at a time when the memory of the event is still both wonderful and bittersweet. that sucks. three) should i grow my hair back out or should I keep it short? i like thinking of myself as a nurse with my hair pulled back and then releasing it at the end of the day, setting it free in a sexy hair commercial kind of day. at the same time, i do it every day when it is short. hmm, such a quandry. four) with the arrival of frances, i had people asking me what it felt like to finally be an aunt. (now my pardons to those of you that did ask this, it is not directed at anyone specifically) begging everyones indulgence, but I AM ALREADY AN AUNT. then people would say yeah, but a blood aunt. I AM A BLOOD AUNT. I would give my blood to Trina, Devan or Niko in a hearbeat and i think that makes me their aunt, blood relative or not. on top of that, it just irritated me that people would think less of that relationship than it is. but i cant fault people for just not understanding the depths of my feelings when it comes to that. some people do know that, i know that much (like tiff). well thats likely enough for now, more tomorrow. xoxo-Lacey Canyon

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