Sunday, September 28, 2008

Leaking and Hurting

okay lest any of you get grossed out and not read further the reference to leaking is not related to say womanly problems. let me explain, i went in for a fill on monday (last week). while i was there, the doctor discovered that i didnt have as much fluid in my band as i am supposed to. he then proceeded to tell me that i have a leak and that i will have to have a contrast x-ray and then he will be able to fix it. so i clarified of course and by fixing it, he means that i will have to have more surgery. arent you all excited for me?!?! more surgery, more pain killers (which possibly means more effects on my antidepressant situation) and of course more time off from work. woohoo. so i have come to terms with this mostly but it still does suck and of course causes a lot of qusetions. will i have to re-do every single fill i have already had, will it be a full surgery again or just some kind of partial fix, what caused the leak, if it wasn't my fault do i still have to pay for the whole thing...so many questions. tomorrow is my first day back to work, i am also feeling pretty anxious over this event of course. it is always awkward to go back to work, even when i have only been out for a sick day. but another month and a half off and going back to work makes me feel like i am some kind of freak. of course no one at work really knows the full reason for why i have been out of work, but it still feels pretty awkward. please everyone keep positive thoughts for me tomorrow as it will be hard. added to this stress and the one mentioned above, i have also managed to get someone pretty angry at me over the weekend. now granted, this person did something that they should not have, and as a result is now paying their own consequences. however, those of you who know me best, know that having someone upset at me (whether justified or not) pretty much adds to my general anxiety and the knot that lies within my stomach. so, yes, stress is just coming at me in abundance right now. i am doing my best to manage and mend where i can. but sometimes you just have to wonder....what is the big guy thinking sometimes?!? xoxo-Lacey Canyon

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about the leaking. When will you know more? How did work go today? Everyone at my work is a little freaked out by the financial mess. Call me when you get a chance. -K