Monday, June 16, 2008

Idiotic Question

how many times in a day do you hear this, "how are you doing?". it's a stupid question right. people dont really want the answer, if they did, they would probably be shocked and horrified at what you had to tell them. i know most people do it as a pleasantry, or something to say when youre not sure what to say (and retail workers are totally excluded from this rant as they have to have something to say). in my case, only being almost 4 weeks out from surgery, they are probably being sincere wanting to know how i am feeling. what if i gave them the real answer, not my fakey nice answer. actually, joe bob, i feel like shit today, it feels like there is a knife in my stomach and someone is twisting it around hoping to make some shreds out of my innards. on top of that, with you asking this question, and me being in an otherwise bad mood, i would like to rip your face off and stomp on it. why, how are you? do i do this, of course not, i say oh i'm doing okay, just a little sore today. when the truth is really, it hurts to breathe and i'm not even really sure i should be at work or not. oh well. hows this for a monday post. ha ha, more later.

Sunday, June 15, 2008


it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood around the Puget Sound. i was outside and got to enjoy some of the sunny weather so that makes me happy. it also makes me sad as part of that time outside was to go to the reception for the passing away of john's dad, pat. because it is one of those things that always makes you realize to be happy with the life you have, i want to take this brief moment to tell all of you that i'm thankful you are in my life, regardless of how you are in it. each and every person i have met over the years has taught me something, and i believe that we learn something new every day. whether you are a longtime reader or have just found me randomly online, i hope that my blog imparts some wisdom to you, even if it isn't necessarily wisdom you needed or wanted. ha ha. today i am in more pain than i have been in the last few days. i think i might have overdone it yesterday helping tiffany prepare for will's surprise birthday party. it didn't hurt at the time and i am happy that i was able to help, it was probably just more than i've done in recent days, so my body was pissed off. pain meds again before bed last night and again today after i returned home from driving. now i am sitting on my couch, watching the end of War Games (hello awesome movie from 1983, i was FIVE years old, ha ha) that i recorded on the DVR the other night, and posting to this blog. i am also reading and those of you that know me, this is hardly a surprise! i plan on taking a brief nap before getting up and trying to clean the house a little bit. oh, just remembered some bummer news to share with everyone. i did not get into the accounting certificate program at the UW extension school that i planned on taking. i'm really kind of bummed about that, but am also thinking maybe its a sign that it wasn't what i was supposed to be doing. and get this, they don't even inform you via mail anymore, i got a FREAKING EMAIL telling me that i had not been accepted. so back to the drawing board, trying to figure out yet again what to do with my life. well at least i have all you lovies to keep me entertained. xoxoxo, thats hugs and kisses bitches!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Who am I today's Day.

yeah dont ask about the title of my post. youre not going to get it and im not going to explain so why waste both of our times. i talked to my girl Keri in alaska tonight. she called to talk about john's dad passing away. what a horrible thing right, he's not even 28 years old and he's now lost his father. i hope to be there for him however he needs, and am happy to say that in his time of need, i could be a rock for him, as he's always been for me. today was my friend Crystal's birthday also. i drove up to see her at her work and take her brownies and a card. she works in a high school. let me tell you, nothing brings memories rushing back quicker than walking through the halls of a high school, even if its not your own. at one point i went into use the bathroom and even that was nostalgic, right up until the point when there were three high school girls also in there doing their "oh my gosh" and "oh my gawd the math final" and "blah blah blah yearbooks". i was out of that bathroom quicker than...well lets just say quick. i didn't stay too long as she had plans with her family. so i stopped in tukwila to have dinner with my wonderful wife, although she did most of the eating. ha ha. so eating apparently makes that nerve hurt. i think its because my stomach fills up or expands and then it pushes up against that nerve. that's not fun! so hey, liquids are my friend, but that makes me a cheap date...oh wait, i've always been a cheap date. but at least i'm fun, right kids! who's with me? xoxo

Friday, June 06, 2008

On my last nerve

okay so technically its not my last nerve but apparently its a big one. i had some chest pains starting late tuesday night. progressed into wedneday night, and at 2 am thursday morning, kerry took me to the ER. we were there for 6 hours. although they did give me some good pain meds (hello morphine i love you-right up until you made me sick, then i loved the phemagrin), they didn't find anything wrong. well okay they found a little fluid around my bad, consulted with my surgeon and he said that's normal and is ok. sent me home with some liquid vicodin. slept most of yesterday and when i woke up pain was okay, probably causee of the morphine still in my system. so stayed up, did some stuff around the house with kerry, who god love her, had cleaned the house and was organizing. is there anything better than having someone organize my house? i love it!! okay so anyway pain started getting worse,and by the time we went to bed the pain had moved to the left side of my body and was just under/along my rib cage. tried to sleep in to sleep through the pain (of course this is after staying up until just after 1am because i couldn't sleep), but was still up after 9am. pain was super bad then, ended up calling docs office and got in at one today. come to find out that the nerve that runs from the center of my chest down around to the left side under my ribcage is inflamed. more pain meds for me, oh yeah and blogging stoned yet again. sweet!! no idea when i can return to work, he said it might take awhile to heal. lots of birthdays next week-my niece, her father, my friend C, everyone's getting older. me too, which pretty much sucks. oh and since i have the pain meds again, no driving. and everyone keeps telling me to take it easy, stay home, be good. i hate staying home, i don't know why. okay i take that back. i don't like just sitting and trying to relax. i think its because i'm not comfortable somewhat in my own skin, for all the sense that makes. i like being in other people's skin. ha ha, just kidding. but thats kind of true, i like other people's drama so that i don't have to deal with my own issues. so, for those of you that will hear from me a lot, i am sorry, but need the contact with the outside world. but some of you don't mind, so that's awesome. oh and by the way, why the hell doesn't anyone ever comment on my blog, it makes me feel sad. xoxoxo

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Monday monday...

okay ladies and gentlemen (actually i'm not even sure any guys read my blog, but whatever), its that time again. it's 2:30 in the morning, "not a soul in sight, the city's looking like a ghost town on cold and moonless night, raindrops on the windshield"....okay sorry that was my random song burst for the moment. those of you that know me well know that my life might as well be one big musical. rough day i had today, woke up around 10am or so. played some wii, went for a walk around the lake, cleaned my kitchen up just a bit, and finally vaccuumed my downstairs area. it had been a mess from everyone being over here, which was great i loved all of my visitors, just wish my carpet wasn't a creamy off white color. seriously i can't believe the former owners of this house picked carpet that would stain so easily. of course they had people put booties over their shoes which is so not happening in my house. i mean i'm ocd, control freak, and sometimes uptight...but seriously you have to draw a line somewhere. i went to see the move The Strangers with my sister and her boyfriend today. i was super excited to go see it because it looked pretty freaky from the previews. but of course it ended up being mostly a disappointment. i wasn't even really freaked out except for maybe i don't know one or two scenes. and the ending....sigh totally a big bummer. oh well got some cheap entertainment out of it when my pregnant sister decides to lean forward in her movie seat and totally lets a big one rip. oh yeah, super loud, and then her and scott are laughing hysterically but somewhat silent in the middle of this scary thriller movie. yeah awesome! ha ha. might not post tomorrow, but in case i don't here's what i'm doing. probably waking up late (hello 2:45 in the morning remember), going for a walk with kerry before she goes to work, making peanut butter cookies, counseling appointment at 2pm, then heading to seattle. going to stop and see john at the hospital maybe go out to dinner with him, then going to watch crystal's softball game for all of 15 or 20 minutes before heading more north to watch my ladies soccer team play. i miss soccer, i really do. it might be a pleasure and a pain to watch my team play and not join in. hey at least i can yell at the ref from the sidelines. ha ha. more soon kiddos. xoxo

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Insomnia is my Friend!

yes it's true folks. here i sit awake again, although this time i just stayed awake instead of going to bed and then waking up in the middle of the night for a few hours. not a super busy day today. we had breakfast with shelley at glo's in seattle, yummy. then kerry and i drove to tacoma to see tiff, will & the kids. my niece had her first t-ball game today and i totally missed it (bad aunt, someone spank me....please?). ha ha. i hope to catch the next one of course though. but i did get to see her and my little man so that of course made me happy. but he did have to take a nap...and then i went home and totally did the same thing. poor kerry she married a two year old at heart. we finally went to see indiana jones today with carlos and chad. i thought it was pretty good, although not as good as the originals of course. the special effects were a bit schticky for my taste but i think they were trying to make it seem like the older ones. who knows. story line was pretty good, either way. my back is still out, not sure if i posted that earlier, i probably did..i like to repeat myself. the pain medicine i have taken twice today has helped that, but not entirely killed it. bummer! well i think i should try to go to sleep again now. its become harder to type so maybe that's a sign of goodnight. xoxo ps-hello comments?!? i know you're all perving my post, so make some comments, kay?!? ha ha